Miscellaneous: Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show...

By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 53 908

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By smeeagain - 21/10/2011 01:17 - United States

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 516

You deserved it 6 376

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 458

Costume parties are the worst

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 57 482

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 722

You deserved it 5 245

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 963

You deserved it 50 277

By cagel - 13/12/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 793

You deserved it 2 776

By obsceene - 18/10/2010 10:49 - United States

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 103

You deserved it 8 377

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 364

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Danby

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 2 728

redbluegreen 40

Friday 30 October 2009 12:06

Probably the Horny Hornets.

pawpaw_fml 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:04

What's your school mascot?

Comments

youthink_fml 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:50

why children shouldn't drink

Im_Jesus_BITCH 3

Friday 30 October 2009 12:51

Wait, you were drunk at school?....awesome.

just_me_tmp 0

Friday 30 October 2009 14:48

Midnight Madness... School... I'm assuming this was a college event? Either way the OP is stupid for not knowing how to handle his alcohol.

sillyzombiekid 0

Friday 30 October 2009 13:01

ROFL!! i salute you. xD ..FYL, but thats awesome. in a way.

larselduderino 0

Friday 30 October 2009 13:15

There is no FYL at all in this. That's ******' A badass. Good job, buddy

stumpygremlin 13

Friday 30 October 2009 13:20

If I had to guess, given the user name, that this is at Stonehill College in North Easton, MA, whose mascot is the Skyhawks.

DancingDick 0

Friday 30 October 2009 13:36

YOU RULE!!!!

DannyBoii12 0

Friday 30 October 2009 13:48

LEGEND

Plumppotato 3

Saturday 31 October 2009 2:29

ary sorry. couldnt resist.

sven25 0

Friday 30 October 2009 13:54

Maybe the mascot is a boy and dude just realized not only is he a fur lover, he's also gay!

perdix 29

Friday 30 October 2009 13:56

Please tell me that pants were not present and it was not a dry hump. I want your Monday to be hilarious.

BB7 0

Friday 30 October 2009 14:16

I never tried that... was it exiting?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Parents Annoying ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I set the record for bringing in the most money for a charity event, and my boyfriend and I got back together. This would normally all be wonderful, but it was a bachelorette auction with the winner getting a date with me. My boyfriend didn't have the winning bid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 348

You deserved it 1 296

Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 353

You deserved it 61 676

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 548

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 896

You deserved it 27 400

Today, my mom has developed a new addiction: Watching Dr. Pimple Popper religiously. Also, she's suggested that maybe we should move to California so Dr. Lee could have a look at me. Yes, my skin problems are that bad. I don't need to be reminded of it, much less every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 97

Today, I finally stood up to my mom and told her that as an introvert I desperately need some time alone to just recover. She, being the bitch queen of the extroverts, translated this in her head to, “I hate this family”, so she screamed at me, called me ungrateful, and made me homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 133