Intimacy: Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy...

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By only 10 more hours to go - 06/01/2012 11:40 - United States

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 304

You deserved it 3 385

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Same thing different taste

By ForeverAlone - 15/10/2014 00:13 - United States - Watertown

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 432

You deserved it 3 771

By embarrassed - 20/12/2010 14:51 - United States

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 6 566

Doormat hazard

By Little man - 18/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 114

By no name - 22/06/2013 07:20 - United States - Gaylord

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 766

You deserved it 3 836

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 372

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 3 496

Oops.

By Anonymous - 18/11/2017 01:30

Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 1 124

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 14:35 - France - Melesse

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 646

You deserved it 3 817

By KN - 25/06/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 893

You deserved it 12 556

By Anonymous - 10/06/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 50 301

Torva_fml 16

Friday 6 January 2012 16:01

What a romantic! He sure knows how to get a lady...

cradle6 13

Friday 6 January 2012 16:04

What an asshole. You should have yelled, "KISS MY ASS!" Oh wait...

Comments

MilkmanPsycho 7

Friday 6 January 2012 18:31

Now we it be creepy if he were a random attractive male offering it?

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Friday 6 January 2012 18:44

Would*

ForeverUnemplyed 0

Friday 6 January 2012 19:23

The Allies will succeed soon enough, you Nazis will regret ever killing peoples comments with you pointless grammatical corrections -_-

Lacie785 0

Friday 6 January 2012 18:38

Well was he hot?

Snafuusmc 12

Friday 6 January 2012 18:39

It was a joke c'mon now lighten up.

bmccall5 1

Friday 6 January 2012 18:44

60% of the time, it works everytime.... Good for the security guard! Lol

capnbzarr 43

Friday 6 January 2012 20:03

That makes me a saaaad panda.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 6 January 2012 20:19

"You can hold the elevator for me."

hero93 6

Friday 6 January 2012 20:20

so how does it feel now OP?

SuperBritty23 7

Friday 6 January 2012 20:31

Haha that reminds me of Willy Bum Bum

terrask 11

Friday 6 January 2012 22:15

A man's gotta try!

dillies 3

Friday 6 January 2012 22:16

Im hoping the security guard Is your mother, if not fyl because that is some creepy shit.

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The Top

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I thought that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 218

You deserved it 7 497

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 379

You deserved it 5 276

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 4 107

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 525

You deserved it 3 724

Today, I found out that I wasn't going to be a father. My best friend is going to be the father to my girlfriend's child, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 518

You deserved it 1 489

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 565

You deserved it 8 562

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 530

You deserved it 3 239

Today, I was forced to hire my boss’s niece. The kid failed out of college twice, but I could have forgiven her if she worked hard to learn, but she's so lazy and dumb, so dumb that if she shook her head I think I’d actually hear her single brain cell rattle like a rock in a box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 130