Intimacy: Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles....

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 156

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Same thing different taste

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By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 404

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 602

You deserved it 6 222

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 18 701

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 422

You deserved it 9 211

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 112

You deserved it 22 198

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 011

You deserved it 1 791

Mr25_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:54

come prepared

LeoF_fml 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:55

Haha, too big of a load to handle?

Comments

Mananda 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 6:59

Your girlfriend sounds awesome.

nimzie 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:18

You can poke her eye out. Safety first.

mserrato 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:22

Atleast you got a *******

stewie13_666 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 7:56

She doesn't want another angry pirate

Ever_16 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:02

How is this an FML? All the poster is doing is bitching, at least you got your dick sucked, princess. Gee your life is now ruined ain't it?!

captainboner 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:04

******* smart :P

DOPEYxISxTOxDOPE 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:13

That's deep

purple91 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:16

Sounds sexy...

meow7777 2

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:24

you must be a squirter

StarKnight 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:34

lmao

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 77

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 107

You deserved it 26 656

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 6 312

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for sneezing too many times during Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 878

You deserved it 1 000

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 545

You deserved it 1 586

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 15 919

Today, my fiancé and I moved into a new home a few houses away from our previous one. We were excited about not hearing our roommate's dog howling non-stop anymore. We can hear him from the new house. Very clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 953

You deserved it 1 942