Miscellaneous: Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old...

By OopsMonkey - 13/09/2011 13:43 - Netherlands

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 039

You deserved it 4 222

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 9 581

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 157

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 3 186

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 6 001

By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 206

You deserved it 5 501

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 964

You deserved it 1 779

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 077

You deserved it 492

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

YaboyVinnie 21

Tuesday 13 September 2011 18:52

So your kid swallows while your wife doesn't?

MaskingTape 2

Tuesday 13 September 2011 18:52

What else was he supposed to do with a delicious screw if not eat it?

Comments

thatoneshadykid 2

Wednesday 14 September 2011 11:43

What, are you afraid the screw that probably shredded your kid's bowels will scratch the toilet's porcelain?

Prolusive 5

Wednesday 14 September 2011 15:05

That kid must have a screw loose or something...

ErraticBehavior 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:54

Forget the screw. Let his dumbass ride a busted scooter. He'll learn not to swallow things when he cracks his face open. Then while at the ER, have the doc fish out the screw.

Angelrose2004 17

Wednesday 14 September 2011 18:44

How do you know he actually swallowed it? You could be getting screwed yourself... Just sayin.

Daralea 21

Wednesday 14 September 2011 19:41

Agree with you, Joceannora. Send your kid to school! If there is internal damage, you will hear about it. Staying at home and sifting through poop isn't going to change that.

Anglwrfish 17

Wednesday 14 September 2011 20:22

OMG, genius. He never has to go to school :D

painkiller3666 4

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:53

Your genetics clearly.

crashley21 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 6:43

You should actually be potentially worried. I saw a show on TV about a boy who was iron deficient and swallowed metal things. No one knew he was deficient, they thought he was mentally challenged or something. He didn't know why he had this urge to swallow these things. It was his body pushing for iron.