Kids: Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart...

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

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Same thing different taste

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 170

You deserved it 4 751

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 212

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 14 868

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 077

You deserved it 6 688

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 27 545

arano 29

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:19

**** the kids life. I can't say I wouldn't have found it hilarious though.

BalamCruz 14

Thursday 21 January 2016 0:23

Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells smelly

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cumminsncope 4

Wednesday 1 March 2017 20:20

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The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 433

You deserved it 9 325

Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 61

Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my 30’s, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 302

Today, it was only after our third date, a random traffic stop by law enforcement, and a long, insane argument with the officers that I found out that the guy I've recently been getting to know is a Sovereign Citizen nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 165

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 703

Today, I found out my brother doesn't have a problem with "keeping it in the family". It's now up to me to explain why our cousin is pregnant with his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 174

Same thing different taste

Denial

Mambo number 6

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