Intimacy: Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body...

By fml - 07/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 701

You deserved it 24 991

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Same thing different taste

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 937

You deserved it 15 971

By hannah12345 - 26/02/2010 17:54 - France

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 820

You deserved it 31 859

By Rowden - 26/04/2010 09:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 292

You deserved it 9 637

By Ashley - 07/09/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 577

You deserved it 25 293

Yummy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 344

By skiittlez713 - 20/05/2011 08:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 16 569

By welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 4 238

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 897

You deserved it 2 433

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 097

You deserved it 5 793

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 5 563

BrookeTrueblood 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?

MzRabbit 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:07

ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!

Comments

benen 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:37

9? how old r u?

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:49

LMAO

Jackiess22 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:37

How hard is it to lock a damn door?

SanadB 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:41

at least she didn't want to eat some whipped cream

KaylynKicks 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:51

oh well the kid is bein educated at a young age. take her out for some ice cream after ur done lol

_Sorry_ 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:23

F the 9 year old's life, she's probably never going to want to eat or see whipped cream again..

ikillufoo27 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:40

u shood hav licked her boobs and ****** her real good

sexyblonde78 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:48

damn! does NO ONE on FML have a lock on their door!?!?!?

kimikolovesyouu 0

Monday 8 March 2010 3:36

Smooth.

prettygirl_16 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:12

why would u even do that if other people were home ydi

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 961

The Top

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 548

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 469

You deserved it 37 042

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 5 731

This is why man won't take off the jacket!

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 283

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 4 977

Same thing different taste

Desperate

Yummy

No kinkshaming here

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