Kids: Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean... - FML

By kidswithnomanners - 05/09/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 322

You deserved it 10 279

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 2 278

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 3 089

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 235

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 641

You deserved it 24 787

So unfair

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 04:47 - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 436

You deserved it 3 208

By i_am_forever - 06/01/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 099

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!

By scott - 10/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 19:10 - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 582

You deserved it 10 197

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 5 September 2011 22:51

Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.

Yargnit_fml 1

Monday 5 September 2011 23:57

Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.

Comments

SociopathicSmurf 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:23

A. What the **** is the issue with all of these ******* ***** getting upset over some little phrase, that is not even in the slightest bit rude? Just because your parents abused you for little to no reason, doesn't mean that you should do it. I mean for **** sakes, you think it's okay to beat a child for saying a little phrase? You ******* miserable ***** need to stop being so sensitive and irrational and be decent. Beating someone is no way to show you love them, in fact, Child Protective Services would love to tell you that, you miserable asshole shrews. Your so ******* irrational, it makes me sick. B. Is a four year old even capable of cleaning a room properly? Why don't you get off your own lazy ass and do it yourself, asshole? C. If I ever met anyone so Kate Gosslin as you, I would curb your ass, you ******* ****. D. And talking about 'spanking' seriously? You incestual freaks! A child of your own D.N.A. says something slightly sarcastic, and you just can't wait to feel your bare open palm on their ass for punishment? Does it excite you when you feel them scream when you touch them down there? You are so ******* DISGUSTING, I am simply pointing out the facts. YOU ******* INCESTUAL, PIECE OF SHIT *****.

Ismaeldaboss 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:27

You should have told her "Your welcome Sargeant Sarcasm"

justalilcrazy 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:36

This just made my night. I can imagine her rolling her eyes as she said it. one of those moments u shouldnt laugh but cant help it.

LilaBear 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:36

And who did she copy that off? :P

14natkatprat 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:48

Lol im sorry but thats funny. XD

sociology 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:00

I would have slapped her r pushed her but yea she sounds awesome

NeoOne 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:08

Yeah you can thank RayWilliamJohnson for that

mattdm91 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:20

Sharp tongue she's got there

captainTexas84 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:42

You're welcome sergeant sarcasm

rushalto 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:47

told..

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Cars Poopoo peepee Transportation Awkward Dentist Health Shopping Love My ex Cats Animals Job interview Work Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Annoying Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 925

You deserved it 29 392

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 74 265

The Top

Today, a mad woman squirted me with a water gun filled with paint as we were leaving the church where I just married my husband. As I was staring at this mad bitch in my ruined dress, wondering why she would do something so horrible, she ran off crying and shouting, "Sorry wrong wedding!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 506

You deserved it 198

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 425

You deserved it 2 301

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 529

You deserved it 5 543

Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 59

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 601

You deserved it 3 711