Kids: Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean... - FML

By kidswithnomanners - 05/09/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 322

You deserved it 10 279

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Same thing different taste

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 2 278

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 944

You deserved it 6 295

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 3 089

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 235

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 641

You deserved it 24 787

So unfair

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 04:47 - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 436

You deserved it 3 208

By i_am_forever - 06/01/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 099

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH!

By scott - 10/06/2020 20:08

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 19:10 - Israel

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 582

You deserved it 10 197

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Monday 5 September 2011 22:51

Her new name is now Catherine Obvious.

Yargnit_fml 1

Monday 5 September 2011 23:57

Jade: we gotta get out of here! Tori: yeah. thank you. katharine obvious! Trina: what? Tori: i said, thank you katharine obvious! Robbie: did she say KATHARINE obvious? Andre: it’s captain obvious.. Tori: huh? Jade: the expression is thank you CAPTAIN obvious. Tori: it’s not katharine? Trina: no. Beck: who would katharine be? Tori: katharine could be a captain.

Comments

FunnierOnPaper 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:47

Kids repeat what they've been told. Unfortunately I have to say to take a look at how you talk to your daughter. If it's not you or your household, check what's going on at daycare/preschool. Nip it in the bud!

baconstripslover 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:49

Hahaha. The stories of kids on here are the best! :P

gleeklove 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:54

Oohh sounds like you've got a sassy one!! :D haha

nineoclockstart 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:26

Pwnd!

leadman1989 15

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:26

Two words... Axe kick. Learn it and learn it well.

oneleggedbeauty 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:55

Sounds like she needs a spanking!!

dmw25 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:03

Someone needs to get spanked

mitymouse 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:20

It has to do with what kids watch these days.

SociopathicSmurf 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:20

A. What the **** is the issue with all of these ******* ***** getting upset over some little phrase, that is not even in the slightest bit rude? Just because your parents abused you for little to no reason, doesn't mean that you should do it. I mean for **** sakes, you think it's okay to beat a child for saying a little phrase? You ******* miserable ***** need to stop being so sensitive and irrational and be decent. Beating someone is no way to show you love them, in fact, Child Protective Services would love to tell you that, you miserable asshole shrews. Your so ******* irrational, it makes me sick. B. Is a four year old even capable of cleaning a room properly? Why don't you get off your own lazy ass and do it yourself, asshole? C. If I ever met anyone so Kate Gosslin as you, I would curb your ass, you ******* ****.

RiseAgainst33 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:22

Hahaha that's awesome!!

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The Top

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 40 786

Today, my son has always been antisocial but ever since he bought his first house he has seemingly disappeared behind it’s walls, never lets anybody visit, and has broken off contact with everybody he knows. Were it not for his coworkers telling me he’s at work everyday, I’d think he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 424

The Top

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 113

Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 130

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 362

You deserved it 13 696

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 616

You deserved it 3 594

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 346

You deserved it 2 069

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 483

You deserved it 28 086