By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 807
You deserved it 2 749
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Top comments

DrAwesome 6

"Ma'am, please tell your husband to get off of the ground and change himself. We need to continue this investigation."

65 1
PurplePigeon 0

I'm pretty sure once the cops get there and see a poo covered, crumby fat guy sleeping on your floor...they won't be able to deny it. :/ that would scare me immensely to come home to something like that.

62 0

Comments

perfect_jenny 0

poor man :( fhl for being homeless and hungry :( think how you would feel I'd you were him, having nothing.

1 14
Technocidal 0

Regardless, he shouldn't have broke into someones house!

9 0
FajitaFreak 3

That's very easy to say when you live comfortably, have a roof, lights, utilities, a place to take a nice hot shower and wash your clothes, a TV and computer for entertainment, and a full belly every night. People who say stuff like that have no ******* clue what it's like to be homeless, so stfu please.

3 12
DoomedGemini 37

Uh, no. Anyone who says he shouldn't break in has a brain and morals. Is someone living on the streets sad? Yes, but that doesn't excuse breaking into someone's house and eating everything and ******* up their house. Any sane homeless person would tell you this is wrong.

0 0
mintcar 9

Neither do I. And about the soiled shirt, he's homeless, he doesn't care.

2 1
stfuyssb 0

who said anything about a soiled shirt???

0 2
allmidnighteyes 10

soiled shirt? does he have ******** dick nipples?

4 0
mintcar 9

When I read " souiled himself" I immediately interpreted it as a soiled shirt due to the mess he made from eating. Eh, it's almost 4 and I'm tired.

2 0
stfuyssb 0

soiled. being tired is no reason for misspelling a word. lol jk

0 2
mintcar 9

Soiled** It's clearly time for bed.

2 0
mintcar 9

Ah, you beat me to it. Lol.

0 3
77taylah33 0

I feel sorry for the homless guy yer it was wrong but I think you have the better half of the bargin....... you have a house/appartment, a life cause you were out, and heaps of food. he has nothing, sleeping on the street, starving for food, nothing!

2 9
odexy 12

Clearly the man had plenty of food if he became obese! It still doesn't make it suck any less that he robbed OP. Homeless people have plenty of options to try to get on their feet, which typically includes at least one free meal a day. Besides, if the man is as fat as OP says, then he can definitely live a few days without food.

6 1
stfuyssb 0

if you have a low metabolism then you can get fat from not eating a lot of food. so no you are wrong

1 4
SleepingSkulls 0

True, but then he probably had food regardless. Not scraps or leftovers, either.

1 0
Zebedeee 3

A low metabolism would still mean he could go longer without food.

4 0
FajitaFreak 3

Yes, he had food before, but if he became overweight it takes time to lose it. He could of been starving eating less than 1,000 calories a day for months, and even then only lose 10-15 lbs at most. Plus muscle mass too, as when you starve your body goes into a protective stance and gets rid of muscle too. The human body is silly like that. It doesn't want muscle, it wants fat.

0 4
DoomedGemini 37

We don't know how well off op is at all. I have a home and we still struggle sometimes to make ends meet and have food. If this happened to us it'd screw us over completely.

0 0
MissBri911 0

:/ that sucks soooooo much.

0 1
funzcpl 0

bullshit. bullshit. bullshit!!!

0 2
sinnedrebel 0

great I have been looking for my dad, will be there shortly to collect him and bring you new box of muesli bars

4 0
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0

sad. but I hav to admit it is really funny!! X3

0 0
iheartglasses 0

They dont believe you because there aren't obvious signs of a break in. YDI for leaving your door unlocked lol

0 4