By joarasmi - 01/06/2018 05:00

Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 559
You deserved it 288
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Top comments

UnknownAccess 1

You should buy a gun incase it's not a fat **** and is instead a fit ****.

55 15
JasonThorn 20

"What happened?" "I shot him with rock salt." "But he had his back to you." "...I couldn't tell."

24 0

Comments

UnknownAccess 1

You should buy a gun incase it's not a fat **** and is instead a fit ****.

55 15
1known 30

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
5 23
chris_lillo 15

if someone is able to get into her house to steal then they are able to get into her house to cause harm too

1 0
Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey 16

I've worked my ass off for everything I own. bought it with blood and sweat. If someone were trying to take what I worked for from me. I'd kill them. No hesitation.

0 0
almost_there44 26

You deserve to die if you are smug enough to enter someone's house and take what is not yours. You take my toaster, I take your life. Simple math.

24 5
PenguinPal3017 19

Breaking into someone's home is a horrible thing to do. Not only might they need the items you take, you can also rob them of their feeling of safety. This can have a serious impact on their life. It can cause health issues, prevent them from sleeping, from being happy. They get home from work and try to relax, but instead feel on edge. What's that noise? Is someone breaking in?

0 0
Rabite 28

Let's just hope your mother in law doesn't have a key you don't know of. Murica!

6 2
manofmerr 27

I have a cheap toaster. so i don't think that's enough of a reason to shoot, but if (and its likely that this would be the case) the robber tries to attack me, and i'm a 4'10 woman, than i'm sure as shit reaching for a gun. And if the robber is armed, that won't be rock salt hurtling towards him.

2 0
acmariner99 25

Legal lesson for non-Americans: most US States have what is called “Castle Doctrine” which means you can use force or deadly force (depending on the state) to stop a forcible felony in your home. There is a presumption that using force to stop an intruder for breaking and entering (which is forcible felony regardless of their intention) is legal and the state has to prove it wasn’t. Attacking an intruder after they have left your property (chasing them down the street and shooting them in the back) isn’t legal.

5 0
tounces7 27

It's not about deserving. If you're in my house, my children are here, and you're immediately a threat.

5 0
JasonThorn 20

"What happened?" "I shot him with rock salt." "But he had his back to you." "...I couldn't tell."

24 0
RichardPencil 30

Is your superpower making incredibly delicious snacks that the criminal gorges on and can’t get their bloated carcass out of your window?

3 6
greenwichgal 15

Not really and fml. More like god damn I caught a robber. Go me!

12 2
allie2590 31

Catching an intruder in your house is definitely an fml

7 2
GamerChickxoxo 16

so did you have him charged for the damages ? or is the body still dissolving ?

12 0
dexter420 21

That is awesome. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 please tell the truth. What did you stick in his ass.

8 0
Lobby_Bee 17

Pull his pants down and tickle his asshole with a feather. That'll torture him and the best part is, nobody will believe you did it. No wounds, no injury, just psychological damages that would make his sphincter flinch whenever a breeze blows from behind.

6 3
manofmerr 27

You must have the most interesting parties.

5 0
Davros 12

while waiting on the cops I would go out and dangle a chicken wing in his face.

7 0
thatslifeiguess7 16

Did your 911 call go like this "Pooh Bear is stuck in my window"

4 0