Love: Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words...

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 19:05 - United States - Rogers

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 4 214

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 065

You deserved it 5 094

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 4 571

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 864

You deserved it 4 322

No thanks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2020 20:00

Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 335

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 6 802

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 371

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 503

You deserved it 13 208

Charming dude

By Hurt as hell - 29/11/2023 07:30

Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 782

This Charming Man

By Sheev - 18/10/2019 06:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 342

Rare and inventive insult

By fuck you - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 653

You deserved it 3 839

olpally 32

Monday 2 November 2015 22:31

Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.

okokalright 15

Monday 2 November 2015 22:32

You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.

Comments

nevereyes 31

Monday 2 November 2015 22:45

I guess you learned the truth hurts......

Tripartita 44

Monday 2 November 2015 22:47

The truth rarely involves whale noises.

Shmatterhorn 38

Monday 2 November 2015 22:51

A kick to the groin would have hurt worse, #25. Just saying.

ayylmaoooo 3

Tuesday 3 November 2015 7:07

kicking him in the balls for that is what makes a shitty person

MagnusDeus 24

Monday 2 November 2015 22:48

I can't possibly believe this is real, because I just cannot believe anyone would be that ******* awful.

Shmatterhorn 38

Monday 2 November 2015 22:53

Welcome to the shallow-end of the human gene pool, #28. There are horrible people like this asshat out there, usually fueled by alcohol.

sarcasmwins 24

Monday 2 November 2015 22:54

What a punk ass bitch, a swift kick to the groin would've turned those whale noises into regret followed by high pitched screams and tears.

Badkarma4u 17

Tuesday 3 November 2015 6:02

Where do you people come from where you can assault someone with impunity. You kick a grown man in the groin, and something bad is going to happen to you. It's not like americas funniest videos. You can end up getting yourself hurt or hopefully just arrested.

sarcasmwins 24

Tuesday 3 November 2015 8:04

Hah not if you kick hard enough. Lighten up mate, it's just my opinion, you don't have to like it.

Managodess 14

Monday 2 November 2015 22:57

I'm so sorry OP but please don't let that idiot's rudeness get to you. You deserve so much better than a douche like that.

bakernutz 4

Monday 2 November 2015 22:58

That guy is a jackass. You deserve better than that.

mauhea 9

Monday 2 November 2015 22:59

Sounds like he could be mistaken for a sperm whale as he's such a massive dick.

ballislife2324 14

Monday 2 November 2015 23:00

U don't deserve a guy like that at all. However the other people that comment by saying kick him in the balls. That's assault. If you think that good justice then u are pretty much saying that if a guy asked out a girl and the girl rejected him and made fun of him then the guy has the right to kick her in the ****** too.

Talis99 26

Monday 2 November 2015 23:08

The operative is "made fun of" and not just made fun of but horrendously insulted unnecessarily. This wasn't just a no.

Badkarma4u 17

Tuesday 3 November 2015 6:32

They watch too much TV. In the real world I've seen women get hurt thinking they can slap a man, knee him in the groin or throw alcohol in his face. I've seen men do nothing, and I've seen men loose it and hurt the woman badly before anyone could pull him away. That is just bad advice. Remember if you choose to start a fight, you dont get to choose how it ends.