Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section...

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 198

You deserved it 5 051

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Same thing different taste

By proudparent - 07/12/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 413

You deserved it 6 689

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 373

You deserved it 5 028

By Victoria - 12/07/2016 14:10

Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 648

You deserved it 1 184

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 1 891

By hail - 27/12/2018 20:00

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 868

You deserved it 1 205

Thanks for nothing

By Anonymous - 12/08/2010 04:00 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 953

You deserved it 4 546

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 627

You deserved it 2 728

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 3 137

By Kelly - 26/05/2019 20:30

Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 150

RJM_isaBeast 0

Friday 2 September 2011 8:41

Lmfao at least your dad has a sense of humor.

kaengelangeleyes 9

Friday 2 September 2011 8:54

Lmao this sounds like something my dad would say. My dad says he only had kids so he could have free slaves. :( lol

Comments

00regrets 8

Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:01

That awkward moment when you read this and your mom had a c-section..

diegov314 3

Sunday 1 June 2014 13:41

Is ur dad cave Johnson ?

literallyno 5

Saturday 22 November 2014 16:08

"Happy birthday, tumor baby."

ZeeroKamarrii 18

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:41

Since OP wasn't actually birthed but removed, it should be "happy removal day, tumour baby" :)

bandeek 30

Saturday 21 May 2016 4:51

i have been looking for this fml since the day my daughter was surgically removed. like a tumor.

aussie_summer 9

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:40

Happy removal day tumor baby!

randybryant799 20

Monday 23 August 2021 16:19

And???? Are you seriously upset by this? Wow

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 346

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after concluding we're not compatible at all. He said he knew it all along, but he thought I was "good for all the house stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 164

Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 125

Today, my aunt told me that I'm dead to her now and not to visit them ever again. Why? She found out that I'm pro-choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 328

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 728

You deserved it 25 372

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 089

You deserved it 5 911

Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 222

Same thing different taste

Thanks for nothing

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