Health: Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing...

By Anonymous - 18/05/2011 07:26 - United States

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 368

You deserved it 9 332

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Same thing different taste

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 10:57

Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 158

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 3 080

By sendhelp - 03/08/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 593

You deserved it 2 456

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 367

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, I gave myself a major foodgasm by creating an absolutely yummy egg and mushroom salad with mustard. Turns out, though, that my digestive abilities are not quite as good as my culinary ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 168

By Rayvyn - 21/10/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 884

You deserved it 7 372

No soup for you

By jnisla - 11/10/2013 22:44 - United States - Conway

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 241

You deserved it 3 449

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Gassy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2022 06:00

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 274

sweet_candy_ 17

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:08

What did the egg say to the hot water? Wait I just got laid it's going to take a while to get hard.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Wednesday 18 May 2011 17:13

Eggcellent.

Comments

Miss_Random 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 20:12

Sounds like fun.

gregmoran 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 21:28

ydi for not putting commas in.

prettypinkpixie 9

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:07

How did you not notice the smell or taste?

ChantelRenaeee 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 22:47

delicious.

Erical33s 4

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:39

ewww i feel sorry for you!

ILoveTabz 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:52

always check something before you eat it.

alyslove 5

Thursday 19 May 2011 8:51

your comment is ironically funny :)

CryMoreFMLs 14

Thursday 19 May 2011 1:41

:/ It was lame. How did Op not smell them though...?

XxGuard 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 2:08

You really should study up on eggs. I've had to for my 2nd career as a chef. I spent 2 modules just on eggs alone. The eggs are only good for so long after the date.