Miscellaneous: Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar...

By John - 30/06/2011 08:18 - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 370

You deserved it 3 605

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 8 481

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 983

You deserved it 7 253

By undineA - 18/02/2014 20:16 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 4 426

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:02 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 4 097

By fuckit - 23/07/2016 06:52 - United States - American Fork

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 150

You deserved it 1 202

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 2 576

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 843

You deserved it 3 116

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 2 364

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 519

You deserved it 3 237

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 510

You deserved it 2 849

salvorican 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Aww she sounds sweet

iluvhobos 5

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Oh, senility...

Comments

PGDesigns 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:46

Stop touching Grandma!

pattywuvesyou 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:57

haha

HunterAlpha1 8

Friday 1 July 2011 19:54

take her rape whistle away and shove it where the sun don't shine. oh, but that would be ironic.

docscientist 9

Friday 1 July 2011 21:09

Not really irony. Irony might be if using the rape whistle would only attract more rapists.

DalekScythe 0

Friday 1 July 2011 21:51

Granny: No wolf gonna be eating me!

seeunexttuesdays 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:23

who the hell is gonna rape your GRANDMOTHER?

sexilexisa 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 8:46

there's such a thing as a rape whistle?... hahaha

itsgen 16

Saturday 2 July 2011 8:55

ew who would rape an old woman in the first place

IamDEFILED 0

Monday 4 July 2011 3:16

that's a hardcore FML

skylarcloey 0

Friday 5 August 2011 8:49

niiiicee !!! , loll

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:56

next time let her get hit by a car

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Shopping Landlords Family Love Cute My ex Awkward Vacation Roommate Poopoo peepee Work Weird Cancer Ironic Relatable Party Proposal Empathy Bosses Dogs Animals Furniture Zoom Phone calls Cats Amazon Delivery Babysitter

The Top

Today, a woman I didn’t know swung at me in Walmart. After scuffling, security pulled us apart as we waited for the cops. Why? Apparently I ruined her brother’s life and sent him on a “tragic” spiral after I refused to go to a high school dance with him. I have no idea who she’s talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 110

Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 492

The Top

Today, I felt so lonely that when I was watching a ghost show, I wished my house was haunted so at least some sort of presence was with me, even if it was in another dimension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 272

Today, I received an envelope from Verizon. I assumed it was my bill. I opened it and saw a Visa credit card offer so I quickly snapped it in half to prevent identity theft. Only after playing with the pieces for 10 minutes did I realize that it was the $100 rebate for my new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 233

You deserved it 62 900

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 3 726

Today, the girl my ex-husband cheated on me with, and left me for, called me and asked for money to bail him out of jail. She asked me because I have my own business and I'm financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 112

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 204

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 3 370

Same thing different taste

Smooth criminal

The road to hell

Who are you?

Top comments

Comments