Miscellaneous: Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar...

By John - 30/06/2011 08:18 - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 370

You deserved it 3 605

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 8 481

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 983

You deserved it 7 253

By undineA - 18/02/2014 20:16 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 4 426

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:02 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 4 097

By fuckit - 23/07/2016 06:52 - United States - American Fork

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 150

You deserved it 1 202

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 2 576

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 843

You deserved it 3 116

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 2 364

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 519

You deserved it 3 237

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 510

You deserved it 2 849

salvorican 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Aww she sounds sweet

iluvhobos 5

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Oh, senility...

Comments

ImTheOne 0

Friday 1 July 2011 1:42

YDI for not recognizing your own grandma. dumbass

cek31076 1

Friday 1 July 2011 2:19

damn grandma

my2centsworth 15

Friday 1 July 2011 2:20

At least you know she can take care of herself.

megamandude455 10

Friday 1 July 2011 2:31

next time, don't run over to her asking for free hug

jordanthomas 0

Friday 1 July 2011 2:45

Why were you trying to rape your Grandma?

Chrispayne 4

Friday 1 July 2011 3:43

Everyone is commenting the old lady cant remember. sounds like she didnt know it was him at first either

chungy92 5

Friday 1 July 2011 4:07

grans having rape whistles...

jcordill 0

Friday 1 July 2011 4:44

#106 i wish there was a like button for your comment lol

TheNewGuy03 28

Friday 1 July 2011 8:26

i hear there are thumbs-up and thumbs-down buttons that have virtually the same function. try it! |the kid|

kiwi56 0

Friday 1 July 2011 5:08

sounds like my great grandma !

trobison 0

Friday 1 July 2011 5:10

wait... so your telling me .... she has a rape whistle?! XD I don't see why.. she's probably not getting it on anymore.. so she might enjoy it :p

Keywords

Awkward Sex Intimacy Miscellaneous Embarrassing Shopping Landlords Family Love My ex Cute Poopoo peepee Vacation Roommate Weird Work Accident Cars Transportation Cancer Ironic Party Relatable Proposal Bosses Empathy Dogs Animals Furniture Zoom

The Top

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 1 229

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 55

The Top

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 444

You deserved it 5 495

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 893

You deserved it 2 550

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 151

You deserved it 327

Today, my boyfriend has been fired from Amazon, rejected by the army, deactivated from Uber, and quit his fast food job. He also proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 354

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 447

You deserved it 20 946

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 674

You deserved it 25 403

Same thing different taste

Smooth criminal

The road to hell

Who are you?

Top comments

Comments