Kids: Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor....

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 459

You deserved it 3 563

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Same thing different taste

Pooped out

By jmitch1209 - 28/01/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 866

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

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You deserved it 1 234

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

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You deserved it 6 656

Can't take my eyes off you

By silverscrescent - 22/08/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 457

Training day

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 24 653

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 2 634

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

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You deserved it 460

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 3 234

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 547

You deserved it 5 212

MistySky 17

Monday 20 May 2013 18:55

I guess pissy natures run in her side of the family. :(

kiskraze 7

Monday 20 May 2013 18:58

& that's when you can tell his mother to not come back until he is trained and learns some manners !

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Monday 20 May 2013 21:15

Ban the rotten shit bird from your home.

Ali_Br_fml 33

Monday 20 May 2013 21:42

She just lost a babysitter. If he is that rude and spoiled rotten, who says he'll listen to you anyway? ESPECIALLY when his mom condones his bad behavior. I hate parents like that. Then they wonder why their kids are always in trouble. If I were you, I'd tell her that I'm not babysitting him, and they're not allowed in my house until he learns manners, and she learns that if it's my house, it's my rules.

Jharrist89 12

Monday 20 May 2013 21:50

Tell the bitch to take her son and get out.

Rhian00 17

Monday 20 May 2013 22:22

Oh that's just not right!

XistingPrince 9

Monday 20 May 2013 22:47

Now you'll have a good story to tell when he grows up!

pandalover69 26

Monday 20 May 2013 22:55

Your nephew is a little shit and his mom is moron, parents like her are ruining this country. He's 5 not 2, he should no better, there's absolutely no excuse for that type of behavior.