Health: Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of... - FML

By fatandsad - 03/01/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 9 991

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 20:16 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 529

You deserved it 1 507

Fit as a fiddle

By Dontsitsitandyoudie - 02/05/2017 14:00 - Iceland - Reykjavík

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 138

You deserved it 420

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 10:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 323

By samsterling - 13/03/2016 22:30 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 365

You deserved it 4 211

Easy

By Aleena Rashid - 20/06/2019 06:19

Today, I bought a flatpack, easy to assemble cot-bed for my baby. I spent 5 hours building it, but when it was done, I realised I couldn't reach into it because I'm 5ft and my arms can't reach and lift the baby. I'd have to throw him in. I'm suffering from back spasms as a result, and I now need to disassemble and return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 387

By Inod - 07/07/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I finally got a Wii Fit to try and lose some weight. I came home and set it all up, only to be told that I weigh too much to actually use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 32 321

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 688

By Fred - 06/01/2009 08:28 - France

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 066

You deserved it 5 497

No more!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 143

Next

Top comments

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 3 January 2012 18:53

eBay to the rescue!

mwrc8man94 1

Tuesday 3 January 2012 18:55

Wear a helmet.

Comments

curleyQ97 9

Wednesday 4 January 2012 1:41

ebay.

tkay98 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 3:12

Use it outside.(:

dkainjr 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 3:42

Hello Craigslist

Sl1mShad3y 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:14

Run outside maybe? You know people were running before machines... And that ***** way cheaper too lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:26

Place it on the fire escape or balcony.

TreeStarOsaurus 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 23:42

Go running into the wind as the sun sets! Haha. Idk that just gave me an awesome visual.

daeshon222 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:26

EBAY. Done.

babyygirl19 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:40

Maybe you should just sell it to someone. Then you could just go outside and jog and get money from the person you selled it too (: :D

EpeeGirl 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:46

Sell it?

livicap10 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 4:48

Cregslist bro

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:15

Sell it on eBay.

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 892

The Top

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 327

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 164

You deserved it 69 580

Today, my new manager, who I have spent the last three months training, had a managers' meeting and now won't be returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 66

Today, my ex-husband and the woman he left me for, also known as my sister, are getting married. On my birthday. My mom is gleefully helping plan the wedding. She seriously sees nothing wrong, and tells me to “stop being a Bitter Betty and be happy for your sister.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 116

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 802

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 041

You deserved it 3 797