Break-ups, Public freakouts and Love: Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought...

By kingpin9219 - 30/05/2011 04:29 - Canada

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 093

You deserved it 52 450

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 2 016

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 092

You deserved it 4 194

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Who the **** are you?

By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/07/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 389

You deserved it 4 159

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 046

You deserved it 8 844

By GirlishMan1883897 - 24/07/2010 10:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 130

You deserved it 74 739

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 824

You deserved it 4 683

Surprise!

By Wow - 04/09/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 419

You deserved it 3 346

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

Feklfekl2222 32

Monday 30 May 2011 12:02

looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive

1waytoolive 1

Monday 30 May 2011 12:28

Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.

Comments

Djzom13 0

Monday 30 May 2011 12:43

Oh no... a ballpoint pen, run for your lives...

noahvs67 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:04

better not make her more mad she'll pull out a sharpie gun

HannahLouise96 13

Monday 30 May 2011 12:45

Wise words indeed...

bitchImdabomb 0

Monday 30 May 2011 12:51

should have ran away from the crazy bitch

qasimahsan93 4

Monday 30 May 2011 13:06

Wow, that sucks so hard bro. :/

chosha_fml 26

Monday 30 May 2011 13:07

You got banned? Why didn't SHE get banned?

jklol11 0

Monday 30 May 2011 13:46

i was wondering the exact same thing!

kaprookie 3

Monday 30 May 2011 13:55

There from Canada.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 30 May 2011 14:20

And where are you from, that you would spell they're as there?(:

lindzieb 4

Monday 30 May 2011 14:25

they were scared she would go crazy on them too

IHeartJimi02 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 4:29

I agree. If he got banned then I sure hope she did too.

GallifreyDog 2

Monday 30 May 2011 13:15

Why did he deserve it? He didn't do anything wrong, he would have had a reason for breaking up with her.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 30 May 2011 14:25

Where is your comment defending the guy about getting a "Batman" cake on the next FML? lol

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Monday 30 May 2011 14:27

Especially somewhere that there were people and security. She could've killed him if they were alone at home, and thrown his body in the river or something. Getting stabbed with a pen and banned from a mall seems like a very small price to pay for breaking up with a psychotic bitch. The only reason one could say he deserves it is if he didn't file a restraining order afterwards.