Love: Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with...

By Trey - 19/11/2011 01:58 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 3 322

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 227

You deserved it 3 001

By Anonymous - 17/09/2015 17:28 - United States - Macon

Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 2 454

By paging dr. kevorkian - 16/05/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 802

You deserved it 5 915

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 5 450

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 129

By mandie - 13/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 539

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 945

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 3 732

Spiritual leader

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 106

Will you…

By jake - 12/08/2012 15:49 - United States - Bend

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 861

You deserved it 2 815

deviable 9

Saturday 19 November 2011 5:56

If the Illuminati are gonna take over, at least your grandpa will be the most prepared.

ohmandapants 16

Saturday 19 November 2011 5:59

Listen to grandpa he is old and wise. You'll be sorry when that shit happens and you didn't take him seriously. And in any case, this shouldn't affect her opinion of YOU personally...

Comments

heathz 9

Saturday 19 November 2011 6:30

haha nice. at least he didn't get to the part on how everyone in power is a mason and the whole world is going to explode haha

birdfreak 24

Saturday 19 November 2011 6:31

Only in TX :) lol TX FTW!!!!

FYLDeep 25

Saturday 19 November 2011 6:31

Start talking about the Freemasons and you can have yourselves a dunce-off.

parabelum 1

Saturday 19 November 2011 10:58

Freemasons are illuminati dumbass

jdude2913 0

Saturday 19 November 2011 11:14

I like ur witty coments

FYLDeep 25

Saturday 19 November 2011 17:55

The Freemasons ARE the Illuminati? Why this is the biggest breakthrough since when they found out that George Washington's false teeth were used to communicate with aliens. Thanks, Parabelum for your solid effort in exposing the truth. You have won the dunce-off. Please accept your hat.