Miscellaneous: Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before...

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 23 298

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Same thing different taste

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 771

You deserved it 370

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 362

You deserved it 9 861

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 315

You deserved it 3 311

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 48 797

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 966

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 288

You deserved it 9 809

By purplexangel - 02/08/2012 17:32 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 876

You deserved it 22 545

Student life

By gofixmyhead - 30/08/2011 14:53 - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 016

Depressing

By bymyself - 07/02/2011 02:05

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 661

You deserved it 3 839

By anon - 14/01/2013 03:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 959

You deserved it 3 679

Redoxx_fml 22

Wednesday 22 February 2012 15:56

You sir are a dandy

Pelreskovich 11

Wednesday 22 February 2012 16:00

That rapscallion of a toaster!

Comments

Baia_girl77 11

Thursday 23 February 2012 0:34

This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this website..

Nikkisha16 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 1:41

Am I the only American who uses cheeky?

grovervac3000 15

Thursday 23 February 2012 1:59

Nope. I'm an American and use cheeky too!

Superllama12 11

Thursday 23 February 2012 1:58

Sounds like something from Thomas the Tank Engine "Percy was always a cheeky little engine"

squarecircles 13

Thursday 23 February 2012 2:08

Nothing wrong with that. At least you didn't swear and curse at it like I do.

no_name_soldier 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 2:33

I really don't get British humor.....

dominic1221 6

Thursday 23 February 2012 3:24

It's a FML, not a joke...

rocker135 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 3:20

Thats what she said

tehwolfling 13

Thursday 23 February 2012 8:43

How does this crap actually get accepted onto the site...

DecemberSkye44 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 9:11

not so much a FML but thank u for making me laugh for the first time today. :-)

laurenmacias 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 17:11

Aww... that's too bad.

I_am_original 1

Thursday 23 February 2012 18:22

Sounds more like a mylifeisaverage post rather than an fml post

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 896

You deserved it 2 259

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 799

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months to post a picture of us. He deleted his Facebook instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 276

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 357

You deserved it 4 512

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 950

You deserved it 14 041

Today, my wife’s business has failed in its first year. She blames the government, despite me telling her no one is going to work for her when she only offers minimum wage, one week unpaid vacation, two months maternity and one week paternity, no overtime rates, and a pay-to-use staff car park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 172

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 637

You deserved it 57 616

Today, I found out that, because I'm a student, the employees I train make more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 2 376