Miscellaneous: Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for...

By thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 3 569

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

U wot m8?

By _Asykes_ - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 092

You deserved it 2 495

Casual…

By bnc - 14/12/2013 22:39 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 4 040

What did you just say?

By keeks_25 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 242

You deserved it 26 136

Scheißleben

By LearnGeographyUSA - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 117

You deserved it 2 968

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 2 923

Cliché for real

By fuckinghicks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 329

You deserved it 17 718

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 435

You deserved it 4 496

Good samaritan

By happyshit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 621

You deserved it 6 563

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

Help yourself

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Westwood

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 2 153

Weird_situations 13

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:05

Tell him to get the **** out of your country then!!

CinnamonBunny 16

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:55

Shut the **** up, #35.

Comments

howdoilogin 9

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:49

Give him directions to a gay bar.

christiana11 5

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:58

apologies from the US, we all have our assholes, and this guy was one of them

kwojahn 3

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:01

I can tell you not all Americans are like that. I'm sorry that he was an assistant hole. He is why Americans have bad raps in other country's.

magickitten 26

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:28

Laughing too much at 'assistant hole' - autocorrect?

cryssycakesx3 22

Saturday 14 December 2013 7:00

those damn assistant holes.

Dashelle 25

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:07

I truly hope he wasn't an American. If so, I'm so so sorry on behalf of the rest of us.

perdix 29

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:12

That's so dumb. Wouldn't it be a scheiss-hole?

perdix 29

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:18

Actually, any type of stone would have been good to use on that asshole tourist.

zombiekitten87 12

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:20

The tourist is probably that guy that bitches about all them Mexicans not learnin' proper 'Merican speak. At that point I would have laughed in his face and said "good luck" before walking away.