Miscellaneous: Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran...

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 476

You deserved it 9 331

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Same thing different taste

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 57 469

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 7 573

By tmac - 04/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 43 134

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 186

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 530

By whyme_ss - 23/02/2010 22:10 - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 141

You deserved it 45 301

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 158

peanutbutterfly 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:26

WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes

Phoenix_GAD 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:24

fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.

Comments

lightmaster 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:46

This isn't a FML. I highly doubt he would care. He probably found it funny.

bskballa92 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:46

I doubt he could hear that it was you pissing, it probably sounds like nothing to him

msbetsy 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:47

Hahaha. I read this wrong the first time around, and thought you were actually peeing ON the phone.

MusicAddict321 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:39

Same here! **High Five** xD

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:48

I thought the phone was going to land in the piss... I just dropped my cell phone in my own piss club. -Dane Cook reference.

brave_fml 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:49

Not an FML. Funny story though.

VroomVroomVroom 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:51

LOL

macbenz 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:56

Not an fml. This is weak

jardinteylor 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 5:39

agreed. also, people seem to forget that you can press # and hear, re-record, or delete the voicemail you're about to leave.

xOblivion 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:56

this is funny XD at least it's only your boyfriend, not some random person

filmil 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 0:09

so? who cares seriously some of u girls out there get embarrassed about breathing....stop being such a PUSSY. oh wait.

pumpkinpie_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 0:10

I'm laughing 8D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 247

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

The Top

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 706

You deserved it 3 135

Life is just one giant storm sometimes!

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 126

That little guy definitely needs some help!

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 121

Today, I realized that I’m so used to be stood up or ghosted for dates that I don’t even bother getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 154

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 319

You deserved it 35 722

Today, I realized that I’ve gone out of my way every year to make everyone around me’s birthday extra special. I can’t remember the last time anyone celebrated or remembered mine. This year my “best friend” scheduled her elective surgery I’m supposed to take her to on my birthday. What a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 122