Miscellaneous: Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran...

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 476

You deserved it 9 331

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Same thing different taste

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 57 469

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 7 573

By tmac - 04/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 43 134

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 186

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 530

By whyme_ss - 23/02/2010 22:10 - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 141

You deserved it 45 301

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 158

peanutbutterfly 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:26

WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes

Phoenix_GAD 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:24

fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.

Comments

MTF23 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:30

That's not FML. If you **** him you shouldn't care if he hears you pee.

soccergirl37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:43

Whoever says "this isn't an FML" to anything is an arrogant S.O.B. *You* aren't the judge of what is and what isn't an FML. It's a different thing for everything. So stfu.

xOpheliacx 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:04

no, she left a MESSAGE of her peeing on his phone. you know, voicemail?

VivaLaSalmonReef 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 3:06

fail.

plexico 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:21

#51 Look carefully how poorly written it is. She should have written: "I left a message on his cell of me peeing." That would have cleared up the ambiguity, but destroyed the very funny imagery of my intentional misread.

plexico 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:55

I don't get it. You said YOUR phone fell out of your pocket, yet you managed to urinate all over HIS phone! I'd dump you if you peed on my phone!

Jellybones 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 1:59

I can't believe people actually found this funny. You people are the reason the Wayans brothers still have jobs, and I hate you for that.

xOpheliacx 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:02

ehhhh. it's not that big of a deal. Just tell him what happened, he'll understand. Not really an "FML."

BAbyR 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:12

um ew

dmmd8686 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:23

I mean, unless you were trying to pee super loudly, he probably couldn't even hear it. He'd probably delete the message after 3 seconds of hearing what would appear to be nothing. Not a big deal.

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:25

508728752* leave message.

kb26hockey 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:26

not an fml.

SVelasquez 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:29

Oh, I remember trying to tell my date that I couldn't make it to lunch because I had the stomach flu. It came out like this "Hey, look, I can't make it to lunch today because...oh God! *retching sounds*."