Kids: Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter...

By Ed - 05/12/2010 13:53 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 656

You deserved it 11 081

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Same thing different taste

Picasso in training

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 159

By Barney - 18/06/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 853

You deserved it 9 160

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 004

You deserved it 4 197

Roommates from hell

By HGTV - 01/10/2013 18:43 - United States - Boston

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 872

You deserved it 4 116

By IcyWinter - 02/04/2014 08:16 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 627

You deserved it 6 500

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 272

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 548

Duchamp would be proud

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 12:00

Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 173

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 319

You deserved it 8 365

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 300

bishhitsandii 3

Sunday 5 December 2010 19:46

Who was supposed to be watching her? It's their fault.

YouMentalFreaks 3

Sunday 5 December 2010 19:45

At least your walls are pretty now?

Comments

Lily_Loretta 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:59

I'd like to know who was looking after such a young child and let her do this, unless you left her home on her own? o_0

jannie22 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 20:05

hmmm idk spank her?

marlarooNaps 0

Friday 1 July 2011 2:59

give her an art pad

juliarawrawrawr_fml 0

Friday 15 July 2011 8:58

Why dont you paint one wall in her room with chalkboard paint then tell her she can draw on that? It worked for some people I know(:

nikkinq 7

Friday 26 August 2011 21:46

Get a better babysitter. Namely one that WONT let her have the crayons?

gussyman 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:30

Who was looking after her?

littlericht 2

Saturday 19 November 2011 3:27

Shes a artist! Could be the next van goth

flooger101 6

Saturday 7 January 2012 4:21

Ok who the hell is watching your daughter and letting her draw all over your wall 2 weeks in a row?

tayswiftlove 1

Thursday 23 February 2012 5:32

At least you know she has a future as an artist

martini47 12

Friday 30 March 2012 14:10

Spankings do wonders!

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 539

You deserved it 15 075

Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 296

The Top

Today, I interviewed my first person ever for the store I’m opening. She was not a good fit and I told her so. She took it really personally. She later sent several nudes to my personal cell, “to say thank you.” My wife saw them immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 135

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 11 638

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 535

You deserved it 25 391

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turns out I have wood rot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 085

You deserved it 4 784

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

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You deserved it 16 535

Guess again!

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 106