Love: Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has...

By immaturity all around - 31/03/2013 17:55 - United States

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 767

You deserved it 6 984

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Pissed - 21/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 569

You deserved it 2 888

By bastard magnet - 02/10/2011 22:14 - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 7 961

By heartbroken - 14/07/2012 01:41 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 638

You deserved it 2 828

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 699

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 4 520

Freaked

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 15:00

Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 170

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 658

You deserved it 4 922

By -_- - 14/06/2014 03:56 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 532

You deserved it 4 973

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 7 478

thefmlinator 10

Monday 1 April 2013 3:18

I'd do what he says

tabletoplady 11

Monday 1 April 2013 3:20

Your dad is my hero.

Comments

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 1 April 2013 8:28

More like a three-way KILLING SPREE. OP, make the phone call now -- this opportunity for fatherly revenge won't last long!

hellonyancat 6

Monday 1 April 2013 8:30

Aww, it sounds like he's trying. Got to give him credit for that. A lot of dads wouldn't bother. I think this is a FYL because you we're cheated on but not because of your dad. He's just being a dad.

Fmlsea 28

Monday 1 April 2013 8:33

hey at least he was trying to cheer you up , some dads would just tell you to get over it. so I think you should cut your dad some slack , after all everyone deals in different ways . that being said im sorry to hear you bf is a dick and cheated on you

YinYangDragon 10

Monday 1 April 2013 8:33

Your dad was trying to help you in his own way. Of course he didn't actually mean he would kill them. He was trying to cheer you up by saying something like that. smh

CMC_LOVES_MGM 19

Monday 1 April 2013 8:35

Your dad just loves you and cares enough about you to do drastic things. Bottom line: he doesn't like to see your feelings get hurt.

JessStyles 12

Monday 1 April 2013 8:52

That's a brilliant idea

israelnotjacob 20

Monday 1 April 2013 9:08

Don't you get it? Your dad didn't mean any of that literally, it was just his way of saying you don't deserve that and the other two deserve something bad for hurting his daughter. He was just being supportive. I'll agree the whole three-way thing is a weird way to put it, but if it was my child I'd definitely say something to the effect of "they better hope I never run into them."