By go fuck myself - 07/02/2015 00:57 - United States - Tampa

Spicy
Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 259
You deserved it 5 005
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Top comments

Jasim 17

Your mom had a great sense of humor. And your vibrator.

234 4

Comments

dawood_k 27

Careful the tarantula might sting the g spot...oops forgot it's not real

9 7
DolphinLaser23 24

Well I for one think you're lucky OP, if that had been me I would have been grounded for life. You can always get a new one right?

16 2
ZombieScoobyDoo 20

Vibrators are really expensive so getting a new one might not be in OP's budget right now.

3 9
photographer49 22

#18 Well if she doesn't have the money, I say she should go the cheap way and just use her fingers. That's budget friendly, and zero risk of them being taken. It's a win win.

10 1
1dvos_grl3 21

oh please #18 you can use anything as a vibrator if it "vibrates". electric toothbrushes, just don't brush your teeth with it.. a body wand. use your imagination, more fun that way.

1 1
nixienicotine 17

Anything can be a ***** if you're brave enough. ?

28 3
oobergoober89 16

"Name something else that'll make you scream". At least she has a good sense of humor

17 1
wvcheesehead 13

Did seeing the tarantula give you the shakes?

2 5
exuberant_orange 17

Your mom's humor is fantastic! But I don't think you're getting it back, because in order to get it back, you have to go through the awkward conversation of asking your mother for a vibrator. XD

13 3
pjsr 32

OP already had that conversation - "She won't tell me where it is"

12 0
amileah13 26

Thank god you checked before using it. I've got chills thinking about if that happened to me!

2 8
RusticChick 27

You could always have a mom like mine that is open with her children and tries to embarrass me by telling me to get a lingerie outfit for my bf for his birthday and to get a ***** for myself so I know what pleasing I like best cuz "no man can please you better than you can please yourself"... all vocally while in a public place. Hahahaa

12 0
badgercheese94 16

This is her subtle way of telling you to get a man or you will end up a spinster (spiders SPIN webs doncha know?)

2 8
1dvos_grl3 21

Hunny, sometimes a man can't satisfy the needs of a woman. Those moans you hear? We fake it.

2 5
badgercheese94 16

#49 I only hear my man's moans, thank you very much! and his are real

0 3
mrmcleod 29

God, this reminds me of a few nights ago. My kids were supposed to be sleeping. We put them to bed in our bed as we we had forgotten to wash their bedding, so we were going to move them to their room later once it was done. We were downstairs and we could hear they were not sleeping so I headed up there and I could hear my oldest frantically tell our youngest, "Turn it off!". I got to the room and they hopped in bed hoping to fool me. Before I could say anything I heard a buzzing coming from my wife's nightstand. They found her ***** and we're apparently playing with it. The worst part of it is, it's a mold of my junk.

20 2