Miscellaneous: Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car... - FML

By wildwonder808 - 12/08/2013 22:47 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 8 069

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Same thing different taste

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 805

Car Wars

By no car - 04/08/2020 17:04

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 411

By carssuck - 02/02/2012 10:28 - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 427

You deserved it 2 532

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By Des - 18/06/2018 15:00

Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 1 138

By mickstinator - 25/06/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 7 233

By jason - 24/04/2009 13:24 - United States

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 76 748

Call the fuzz

By towel please! - 10/03/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 91

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 396

Next

Top comments

nightfire2258 24

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:28

Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!

whyusofat 17

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:29

Shit on his car

Comments

AtPasalacqua 9

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:48

Well that seems just a little extreme.

fml1365 30

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:48

I'd be so pissed.

savona01 7

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:50

Piss down his defrost vents on the bottom of his wind shield, that stink will never come out!

tochiotome 14

Tuesday 13 August 2013 14:47

I was gonna suggest the same thing. Tuna fish juice would also be lovely.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:50

Windows closed always..,and it's a free for all for parking but really if it's that important to him just park a space over...

Ariet 20

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:51

I hope you get back at him somehow.

Raykyogrou03 12

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:51

Half your fault for leaving the window/door open/unlocked.

Eivana 37

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:56

Don't leave your god damn windows open. Common sense.

Jst4kicks 16

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:00

thats when u put ur knob in his wife

Tom267 4

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:03

You need to have him arrested for 1. Breaking into your car (if he did) 2. Vandalism 3. Public Urination And then get the money to have the seats deep cleaned or reupholstered, and if he refuses, take him to court.

TogeBara 12

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:07

you are correct, sir. also the public urination will nail him as a sex offender (low level but still) and he will have to find a new place to live most likely.

ratorr2 23

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:21

I agree! Call the cops and report him. Getting revenge, like most of the other posters suggest, will only lead to more retaliation from the neighbor and possible an all out war. At least this way he will get fined and possibly go to jail if he keeps it up.

LithFlavored 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:06

He shouldn't have been able to get into your car in the first place op. Immature on his part though. Hope you settle things with him

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Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s worse, a hacker posting that I have cancer to my Facebook page, or that over 12 hours later not one of my family or friends rang or messaged to ask if it was true or not, except a distant auntie who liked the post 12 seconds after it was posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 119

Today, I met a "nice guy." Unfortunately, he called himself that after following me on his bike for one and a half hours in the opposite direction of where he was supposed to be going, just to "coincidentally" meet me again. Get lost, you fucking creep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 65

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 490

You deserved it 14 152

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

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You deserved it 2 488

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 153

You deserved it 84 624

Today, after being apart for three months, my fiancée said the only way she'll take me back is if I send her some of the pictures we took on our first date. I deleted everything when I thought we'd never work out again, so it probably might not work out again, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 453