Miscellaneous: Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car... - FML

By wildwonder808 - 12/08/2013 22:47 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 8 069

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Same thing different taste

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 805

Car Wars

By no car - 04/08/2020 17:04

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 411

By carssuck - 02/02/2012 10:28 - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 427

You deserved it 2 532

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By Des - 18/06/2018 15:00

Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 1 138

By mickstinator - 25/06/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 7 233

By jason - 24/04/2009 13:24 - United States

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 76 748

Call the fuzz

By towel please! - 10/03/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 91

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 396

Next

Top comments

nightfire2258 24

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:28

Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!

whyusofat 17

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:29

Shit on his car

Comments

reaxion 25

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:07

Judge Judy! Damages and emotional distress for the stench and for having to see his noodle.

WhiteCrimson 23

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:08

Very territorial neighbor you have there OP. try not to piss him off. He might come and mark his territory in you appartment

CDobs 8

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:15

That's disgusting. I hope you press charges, or at least threaten to do so in order to get him to pay to have your car cleaned.

CharresBarkrey 15

Tuesday 13 August 2013 9:38

Common sense dictates that if you were in his spot, YOUR spot would be left open for HIM to park in. Is he really that possessive?

ty7in_topic 31

Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:23

*Cleveland voice* Oh that's nasty!

aintlifeapain 21

Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:33

The Lord help you if he pisses to mark his "territory". He officially made your car his. You don't know what he might piss on next. FYL

babyblueyes 27

Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:40

Well maybe you shouldn't have parked in his spot...just saying lol

LowExpectations 30

Tuesday 13 August 2013 18:58

In my apartment complex there is no such thing as "my spot". It's strictly first come first serve. Any person that thinks like this looney needs to be put in jail. I hope the OP gets reimbursement for all the damages.

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:52

You pressed his buttons so he pulled his knob.

abekj52 9

Tuesday 13 August 2013 10:56

you should have touched his penis

RadeonDerp 24

Tuesday 13 August 2013 12:35

Can't tell if high or just really stupid.

brittyboo123 35

Tuesday 13 August 2013 11:22

When he parks in your spot, I hope you have something for him as well.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 123

You deserved it 40 855

The Top

Today, after work, I found my car in the middle of the empty parking lot with a huge crack in the windshield that wasn't there in the morning. Looks like I have to get the windshield replaced. Again. For the fourth time now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 114

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 614

You deserved it 888

Today, and most nights, my 17 year-old twins scream and shout while playing Fortnite. I asked if they could kindly not tonight, as I was tired and needed sleep. One told me I couldn't tell him to get off, he's allowed to play. I turned the WiFi off, which ended up with the other screaming and swearing how unfair i was. Now I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 285

Today, I had an argument with my dad about Venice being in Italy, not Spain. He wouldn't believe me, and had to Google it. He's an engineer for an aerospace company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 181

Today, my husband walked in on our daughter naked in the bathroom, which was awkward enough for both of them, but it also meant he discovered her nipple piercings and thigh tattoo. She’s only 15 years-old. The shouting hasn’t started yet, but it's coming soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 520

Today, my boyfriend told me he would be really disappointed if we had kids before we got married, because it would ruin our plans to go to Disney World for our honeymoon. Apparently, kids ruin vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 1 175