Love: Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 16:27 - United States - San Jose

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 297

You deserved it 6 264

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

Connect Four (GONE WRONG)

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 01:30

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 588

By Gaz47 - 27/07/2018 19:00

Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 343

You deserved it 349

Gamer girl woes

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 1 184

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 430

You deserved it 2 679

By TheHatedOne - 21/06/2009 07:26 - Qatar

Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 972

You deserved it 53 956

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 628

You deserved it 36 844

By Anonymous - 20/12/2016 07:28

Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 808

You deserved it 536

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 364

You deserved it 2 418

Dodging a bullet

By 2B single - 12/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at a Con, I saw a girl in an impressive cosplay of a character from one of my favorite video games. I complimented her on her costume and got a picture with her. Later, my girlfriend called me a cheating creep and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 04:58 - United States - Latrobe

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 500

You deserved it 2 387

Next

Top comments

Birdclawz 17

Saturday 25 April 2015 1:27

Careful what you wish for ;)

papygeorges 17

Saturday 25 April 2015 1:28

New game: Runaway A kanye west production " It's in the game!"

Comments

FitFriday 32

Sunday 26 April 2015 6:35

You should never joke about that anyways

ughvictoriaxd 12

Sunday 26 April 2015 7:06

Careful what you say cuz some people take it a little to seriously

baegirl33 7

Sunday 26 April 2015 13:05

Is the game League Of Legends??

kaylizs 20

Sunday 12 July 2015 19:29

'Best support NA marry me' 'Im a 40 y/o lesbian lets do it'

joshi42 16

Sunday 26 April 2015 23:00

Turns out she was saving your ass for her.

Justincolon22 15

Sunday 26 April 2015 23:47

Brought it upon yourself ha.

fonkimonki 7

Monday 27 April 2015 22:50

She thought she'd scored you too

renegadekid2002 14

Thursday 30 April 2015 3:05

And that's why pepper spray was invented

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:49

The internet is full of stalkers.

Keywords

Awkward Family Miscellaneous Language Teachers Education YouTube Cars Animals Cats Clumsy Health Relatable Anniversary Cute Ironic Love Shopping Instagram Social Media Embarrassing Injury Crush Sports Work Clothes Food Birds Public freakouts Mental health

The Top

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 977

You deserved it 3 688

Today, I went for an interview at a great company. Everything was going well until I tried to demonstrate my knowledge of their industry by using a technical term. Turns out I'd completely misunderstood the term and used it in the wrong context. The interviewer raised an eyebrow, and I could see "Don't call us, we'll call you" flicker in their eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 679

The Top

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was, "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway." Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 846

You deserved it 2 153

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 024

You deserved it 5 294

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 171

You deserved it 13 710

Today, I posted a TikTok with my male best friend. My boyfriend has been ghosting me ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 659

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 170

You deserved it 319

Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 243

You deserved it 2 522