Love: Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly... - FML

By mtr1594 - 31/07/2013 06:47 - United States - Henderson

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 948

You deserved it 4 341

mtr1594 tells us more.

mtr1594 8

Wednesday 31 July 2013 20:21

Hey, it's me, OP. So this isn't the first time he's sleep talked before. Occasionally he'll moan, or like the other night, mutter something about eating Nutella. Anyway. This is the first time it scared the bejesus out of me and the first time he opened his eyes. Usually I ask him about it the next morning and he has no idea and wants to know what he said. This morning it was the same response. When I asked what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming that he was a bad ass drug lord apparently. I think we've been watching too much Weeds, the TV show...

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

JoeGrant 12

Wednesday 31 July 2013 18:31

You should talk to him about it and see how he reacts, if he acts a bit strange I would recommend getting away and running. Immediately.

subwaysurfers 13

Wednesday 31 July 2013 21:42

Well, thanks for getting back to us. At least we know you're alive :)

Comments

MakaylaReneeB 8

Wednesday 31 July 2013 22:17

He probably just watched Red 2 at the movie theater!

s_reel16 16

Wednesday 31 July 2013 22:20

Maybe it was a crazy dream! Just a couple days ago, my friends told me about how i sleptwalked and was super rude to them. Shit happens i guess haha

kaitio331 17

Wednesday 31 July 2013 22:43

Lol my boyfriend thought I wrote this I got question by him. So funny

fnessie 1

Wednesday 31 July 2013 22:53

holy shit.. i wo uldnt be able to go to sleep if it were me..

ThatStrangeGuy 6

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:02

I wouldn't worry too much OP, it was probably just a weird ass dream. However, if he starts acting weird, high tail it out of there.

icepick23 12

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:04

Just ensure that you have a will and a living will.

Gunguy 11

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:10

A man has to do what a man has to do.

DeBoss 8

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:15

Lol.. That's a keeper... Lets hope he was sleeping.. But please report in here at least once a week the next few months :)

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:37

Maybe he meant to say "I'll kill you Leonard Nimoy!"

conholio33 28

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:49

Be afraid very afraid

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Dogs Friends Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 622

You deserved it 42 679

The Top

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 809

You deserved it 2 684

Today, a friend asked me to help him get rid of a girl who would't stop texting him. It worked perfectly. Now she's texting me nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 948

You deserved it 3 437

Today, a tenant complained about me on the local news by name. The company I work for refuses to fix the electric in her building. I make $41K per year, and I’m “a selfish millionaire slumlord.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 174

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 145

You deserved it 2 618

Today, I realised I hate my life. I’m 17, married to a selfish douchebag, raising twin babies with him when I should be studying or hanging out with friends like a normal teenager, all because he “doesn’t like how condoms feel” and he couldn’t pull out in time. Oh, and I didn’t even cum that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 2 132

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 275