Miscellaneous: Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 079

You deserved it 34 035

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Same thing different taste

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 989

You deserved it 8 242

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 189

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 986

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 861

You deserved it 9 141

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 389

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 9 372

By Thorin - 25/01/2010 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 438

You deserved it 6 676

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 266

You deserved it 7 547

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 092

You deserved it 3 984

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 315

You deserved it 5 393

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 18:45

I watched my brother stick a butter knife through his hand once. THROUGH IT! Just because something is dull doesn't mean it can't cause damage.

loschepp 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 21:45

I cut myself with a plastic spoon once. :p

Comments

masterof8849 5

Thursday 9 August 2012 22:42

ive done the same thing before....

CherryLipBalm 1

Monday 27 August 2012 7:44

I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or serious...

roxstarpony 8

Monday 24 December 2012 3:07

They're child proof, not dumbass proof.

jazzmin1997 16

Wednesday 7 May 2014 20:19

You should sue them for your own idiocy like you dumbass Americans love doing.

KylieN 13

Monday 15 December 2014 8:48

How does that even happen?!

Lancelot13_fml 9

Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:33

At least now you know you are of a child than a child as advertised.

Tomato_Cheese 22

Friday 8 January 2016 2:29

I cut myself with a bandaid.

alphacupcakes 17

Saturday 19 March 2016 4:22

Same

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Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 967

You deserved it 5 879

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 613

You deserved it 1 865

The Top

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 546

You deserved it 16 148

Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 295

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 437

You deserved it 2 411

Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying, "SIKE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 468

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 400

You deserved it 3 458

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 767

Same thing different taste

Let it bleed

Put it away

Home improvement

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