Miscellaneous: Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 079

You deserved it 34 035

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Same thing different taste

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 989

You deserved it 8 242

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 187

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 986

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 861

You deserved it 9 141

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 389

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 9 372

By Thorin - 25/01/2010 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 438

You deserved it 6 676

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 266

You deserved it 7 547

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 092

You deserved it 3 984

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 315

You deserved it 5 393

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 18:45

I watched my brother stick a butter knife through his hand once. THROUGH IT! Just because something is dull doesn't mean it can't cause damage.

loschepp 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 21:45

I cut myself with a plastic spoon once. :p

Comments

masterof8849 5

Thursday 9 August 2012 22:42

ive done the same thing before....

CherryLipBalm 1

Monday 27 August 2012 7:44

I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or serious...

roxstarpony 8

Monday 24 December 2012 3:07

They're child proof, not dumbass proof.

jazzmin1997 16

Wednesday 7 May 2014 20:19

You should sue them for your own idiocy like you dumbass Americans love doing.

KylieN 13

Monday 15 December 2014 8:48

How does that even happen?!

Lancelot13_fml 9

Wednesday 30 September 2015 17:33

At least now you know you are of a child than a child as advertised.

Tomato_Cheese 22

Friday 8 January 2016 2:29

I cut myself with a bandaid.

alphacupcakes 17

Saturday 19 March 2016 4:22

Same

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Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 579

You deserved it 6 808

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 765

You deserved it 4 558

The Top

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 575

You deserved it 9 751

Today, my 4 year-old grand-daughter let her pet rabbit loose in the yard, while my 2 year-old grandson was trying to climb on a chair, then a table. I had to choose between catching the rabbit before it ran under the fence, or saving my grandson from falling on the concrete terrace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 369

You deserved it 1 329

Today, I got a wax to be sexy for my date, but the whole area came up in this nasty rash with bumps and white spots, nasty as hell. When I told him sex was off the table for a few days, he stopped being charming, spent most of the night on his phone then left early with a bad excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 287

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 070

You deserved it 8 357

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 899

You deserved it 330

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 572

You deserved it 2 715

Same thing different taste

Let it bleed

Put it away

Home improvement

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