Miscellaneous: Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML - FML

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 033

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 8 240

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 186

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 986

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 9 140

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 389

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 9 372

By Thorin - 25/01/2010 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 435

You deserved it 6 676

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 264

You deserved it 7 547

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 089

You deserved it 3 984

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 5 391

Next

Top comments

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 18:45

I watched my brother stick a butter knife through his hand once. THROUGH IT! Just because something is dull doesn't mean it can't cause damage.

loschepp 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 21:45

I cut myself with a plastic spoon once. :p

Comments

scoobtig 11

Wednesday 19 May 2010 20:28

FAIL. but seriously, those things r deadly, they're almost as bad as those butcher knives.

RainbowMoon 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 9:30

I did that at school not too long ago...I'm in college =]

brianjman14 22

Friday 18 June 2010 5:40

fail

just_laugh_along 0

Monday 19 July 2010 19:42

They're child proof. Not idiot proof.

minitruck3rs 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 19:55

that's oh so true.

tanman88 5

Friday 6 August 2010 10:02

HAHA Fail!

tykiej 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 3:48

Too bad they aren't retard proof.

Shaunte 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 1:56

LMFAOOOO!

cindayy77 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:52

well... once in 5th grade, I was trying to cut through some paper, I had like a bunch of paper I was trying to cut through, and all of a sudden the scissors somehow slipped, and stabbed my palm.. it hurt :P xD

Tuesdays76 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:21

Why was your mouth on the scissors?

25shark 5

Saturday 4 June 2011 15:05

yeah, and I cut myself with rubber...

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I worked a long shift at my job while feeling like crap, anticipating getting a promotion. As my boss was leaving work, he informed me that because I also go to college, the promotion was being given to another employee that I trained a month ago. This is the second time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 190

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 201

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 277

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 113

You deserved it 48 387

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local Pizza Hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 584

You deserved it 2 606

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 545

You deserved it 1 981