Kids: Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a...

By NoCookForYou - 22/08/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 697

You deserved it 5 841

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Same thing different taste

Let him cook

By Max - 09/04/2014 18:32 - United States

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 226

You deserved it 6 073

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 8 420

Shit tastes better when you're in love

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 138

By Sad Chef ;( - 05/12/2014 03:33 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 3 360

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 4 026

By LameChef - 10/03/2015 18:43 - Poland

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 5 027

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 559

You deserved it 8 392

Just eat it

By salt bomb - 02/03/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 138

By Cakeman - 08/11/2009 15:03 - United States

Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 297

You deserved it 51 801

By FoodyFood - 19/03/2012 04:59 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 14 731

Maddoctor 10

Saturday 22 August 2009 17:26

And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...

Serix 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 17:30

Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI

Comments

sirdodger 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:18

Clearly written by a kid who said that to his parents, got grounded, and is stuck at home on his computer.

pinkuggs4ever 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:10

why is your 12yr old saying shit to you

kittenassassin 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:25

i like your kid he sounds cool

Intellectualist 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 12:41

That kid is a prick and needs to be taught how to talk to his parents respectfully.

chilipeppersrok 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 0:27

DAMNNNNNN

scateice 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 22:29

lol, im 11and I wanna hang out with him!!!!!!!!!!

jdfbabie 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 21:48

YOUR SON = COMIC GENIUS. stop calling his son a prick, you guys are the rude ones. his son was telling a joke. a very funny one at that.

IceCreamMage 17

Friday 4 September 2009 7:54

Your wife is obviously a bad parent and your son should have been backhanded as a child. That's just ******* rude, even for a joke.

sazure 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 2:13

lmfao your son is like, the best ever~

PonPonPattaPon 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 7:20

The wife and son obviously have a sense of humor... duuh. un-clench your asses people.

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The Top

Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 192

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 89 009

Today, I went out to eat with my friends. When the bill came, all three of them had "inconveniently" forgot their wallets at home. I ended up having to pay. It was a $178 check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 130

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 301

You deserved it 2 485

Today, while 9 months pregnant, i was sleeping soundly for once, cuddling with my cat, having a nice dream… until I woke up choking on acid reflux, peed the bed, peed on the carpet and all over myself trying to get to the bathroom. This is not the first time this has happened. At least I didn't puke this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 214

Today, I asked my classmate if she was ready for the final tomorrow and she said it was yesterday. I'm not a bad student - I have 90+ average in the class - but the final was 50% of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 546

You deserved it 1 892