Cooking and Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all...

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 15:36 - Sri Lanka

Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 28 336

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Same thing different taste

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 9 088

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 197

You deserved it 8 411

Cooked

By Un1ucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 291

You deserved it 7 527

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 369

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 461

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 536

You deserved it 6 608

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 636

You deserved it 3 066

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 1 463

Kitchen nightmares

By Masterchef331 - 01/02/2022 05:00

Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 979

You deserved it 27 944

mthammer 4

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?

Damn_Hippster 11

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:56

How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries

Comments

Insane_Tea 15

Saturday 8 October 2011 20:21

Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires.

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 8 October 2011 20:25

But French fires are a different matter entirely

Sunny_Eclipse 6

Saturday 8 October 2011 22:03

No, only Josh can. (10 points if you get the reference.)

Potterhead1 3

Sunday 9 October 2011 1:13

i get the reference

brdude 9

Saturday 8 October 2011 20:31

Coming from someone who's also a big disaster cooking, you have my Deepest sympathy and comprehension, OP.

rallets 22

Saturday 8 October 2011 20:34

its Smokey >:(

TheRealHouse 7

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:17

few tips. let the fries sit in a strainer for a bit before cooking them especially if you rinse them, water makes the oil boil over. Keep the oil less than 3/4 to the top of the pan so it has room if it does boil over keep it under 450.. 300 to 350 is enough Add them gradually. if you have a basket, lower it slowly.... or get an actual deep frier. If you can't do this right PLEASE DONT TRY TO DEEP FRY A TURKEY! Deep fried Turkey is awesome but people are giving it a bad reputation..

Tridemon 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:23

yummy deep fat fried turkey is delicious and so juicie

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 9 October 2011 4:34

Yeah, no. You fail at spelling, speaking, and thinking

Tridemon 0

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:20

haha sucks for you everyone knows your not suppose to add water to oil it causes fire haha and I bet you burnt your self from the oil popping everywhere nice classic

itak365 4

Saturday 8 October 2011 21:29

He also tried to sow the soil in OP's garden with salt so no one could ever raise enough crops there to build a city that could compete with the might of Ro- Mr. Potato Head.