Animals: Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything...

By Lee - 10/04/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 930

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 975

You deserved it 26 213

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 4 335

By Sean - 10/06/2013 02:27 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 274

You deserved it 7 659

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 134

By Radgirl - 28/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 365

You deserved it 58 511

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

By vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 210

You deserved it 6 930

By estallidos - 23/01/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 2 464

WOOF!

By Dweeb - 02/10/2019 18:00

Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 647

Goatinsfriend 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:39

If I was a dog..so many things I would to humans.

emmama19 15

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:43

He was protecting the weeds. They were his friends!!!!

Comments

tensley5822mom 0

Wednesday 11 April 2012 2:35

My daughter did that to me when I fell on her toy and got a concussion. Except the is 1 and used a tin box.

Anonymoouse_fml 0

Wednesday 11 April 2012 4:07

How do you get a concussion from pulling weeds?

TypoH 7

Wednesday 11 April 2012 4:19

I pictured that in my head.

hqbrat 8

Wednesday 11 April 2012 4:35

DOG: " HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GIANT SQUIRL!!, I MUST GET IT!!!!!"

linkinpark98 23

Wednesday 11 April 2012 5:44

Your dog is a boss.

rexreta 5

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:55

And you just let him the second time??

cetlawizard 15

Thursday 12 April 2012 3:23

Are you sure your dog isn't part goat? Lol. Sorry OP, fyl.

Zues11 0

Monday 16 April 2012 5:52

lmao im sorry but this made me die, lmfao

littlelotte98 3

Wednesday 18 April 2012 4:40

that's happened to me it hurts like he'll and the freaking dog Actually nocked me out

Cosette_fml 1

Monday 30 April 2012 4:56

Apparently u didnt have a cuncusion or else you wouldnt b able to remeber wht happened and wouldnt even be on this site to type ot all down...

drayloon 50

Wednesday 5 September 2012 6:03

You really don't know much about concussions, do you?

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The Top

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 5 075

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 654

You deserved it 3 693

The Top

Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 61

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 534

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 365

Today, I'm a 22 year-old guy with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 323

You deserved it 16 410

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 460

You deserved it 4 133

Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 791

You deserved it 2 233

Same thing different taste

WOOF!

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