Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case...

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 207

You deserved it 4 344

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Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 213

You deserved it 4 359

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 458

You deserved it 8 001

I'm surprised

By Anonymous - 29/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 119

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 113

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 579

You deserved it 2 631

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 962

You deserved it 6 737

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 944

You deserved it 8 308

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 6 225

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 82

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 147

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:30

God damn, that is just grade A bullshit right there. Well, at least you aren't the other woman. Just think; everyone knows she's a **** now, getting preggers from someone's HUSBAND. You on the other hand have one less asshole in your life.

Luckster 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:24

When you divorce him, squeeze every penny out of the bastard!

Comments

lockjaw_fml 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 23:33

you sound like a keeper to me

suckmysarcasm 10

Tuesday 18 August 2009 23:41

i agree with #67 she is the best wife ever to want to spend a romantic evening with her husband and get him beer and a porno too. that like a 100 point bonus. ^^ although im more of a smirnoff man myself. ^^

mikel81 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:34

Beer and ****??? Sounds like he junked the lexus to drive the mini van.....

girl_oftha_year 0

Monday 24 August 2009 8:04

omg whats wrong with watching **** with your man? Especially husband? And beer, wow, do you think that maybe he likes beer and she was trying to be sweet, the **** was for before the sex. Its not trashy, its not classy, its ******* love you assholes.

Kofu 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 7:37

That is amazing. I hope you realize that 95% of all men who just read that story are now in love with you. Take your pick, doll.

DropBear2 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 2:10

wow....since when does sex always have to be romantic? ... sex is just supposed to be fun- and if he (like most guys) likes beer and **** then its cool that she brings that home... and ****** up that he cheated on her

kittydelusional 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:50

can you say redneck? c;

dangletsbang21 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 5:50

agree with 10 :)

Camels 1

Tuesday 16 February 2010 22:07

Poor you. ):

withasmile 3

Monday 22 March 2010 20:12

Most men look at ****. Many men drink beer. if you love your man, you do things to make HIm happy. Thats not trashy! Thats fun! He's an idiot and you are better off - sorry! And to those that think it's trashy - good luck if you get married. Repressed people aren't likely to be too happy either!