Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case...

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 345

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 221

You deserved it 4 360

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 463

You deserved it 8 003

I'm surprised

By Anonymous - 29/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 121

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 115

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 586

You deserved it 2 632

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 967

You deserved it 6 739

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 948

You deserved it 8 309

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 6 228

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 85

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 151

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:30

God damn, that is just grade A bullshit right there. Well, at least you aren't the other woman. Just think; everyone knows she's a **** now, getting preggers from someone's HUSBAND. You on the other hand have one less asshole in your life.

Luckster 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:24

When you divorce him, squeeze every penny out of the bastard!

Comments

SickOrSane 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 17:23

You're welcome to bring the beer and porno over to my place. You can come too if you'd like. Also, guy's a douche, here's hoping he was the bread winner and you'll be getting half of his shit.

wafflemonger 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 17:24

That's a surprise any guy would love. You sound like an awesome wife. He doesn't deserve you.

fatass123 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 17:34

Who needs a husband when you have a case of beer and a porno?

oopsie_daisy8446 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 17:44

YDI for renting **** and bringing home beer. You sick hillibillies.

zeorox 18

Tuesday 18 August 2015 0:09

Just for the record I meant to thumbs down this and hit thumbs up, so add negative two this response - one to remove my thumbs up and one for the thumbs down I meant. Regardless of whether or not you think it was classy, no one deserves to be cheated on. Judgmental douche.