Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked... - FML

By thewallrules - 05/12/2009 14:10 - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 3 452

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 958

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 915

You deserved it 6 020

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 3 749

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 490

You deserved it 2 806

By nude - 15/01/2010 00:43 - United States

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 054

You deserved it 32 306

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 23 084

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 3 230

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

Never in the buff

By ShyVirgin - 19/06/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a staff member entered my room, thinking it was empty. I was naked. This is the second time something like this has happened in the week I have lived here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 112

Next

Top comments

xdyingxwishx 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:54

Haha damn, lock your door!

monkey314159 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:55

wtf... which college is this again?

Comments

xdyingxwishx 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:54

Haha damn, lock your door!

Reyo 2

Sunday 6 December 2009 10:25

He's drunk sweetheart. Welcome to college.

Zer0_Zer0 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 18:54

I never did find Chris.

15days2go 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:03

Exactly! That's rule #1 of living in dorms

thatbitch99 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:40

Are you mentally retarded? His door was locked..He made it clear he locked it in the post. Seriously! You need to go to a doctor.

quickcynic 6

Wednesday 20 February 2013 17:44

71- Check the post again. He never said anything about the door being locked, he just said that some strange drunk guy was in his dorm

dinosaursmoo 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:54

ROFLCOPTER

monkey314159 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:55

wtf... which college is this again?

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:59

maybe he lived there a semester before or something, thats kind of awkward though. lock your door!

sodahhhr 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:02

Everybody Knows Chris

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:26

everybody loves chris.

Schmuty 2

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:32

i thought everybody hates chris.

ohmygoodnex 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:39

**** chris.

alexandraa_fml 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 3:30

Chris blows.

njutaren 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 15:39

I was with chris that night

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Monday 7 December 2009 21:58

well i mean, i love chris haha at least my chris..probably not the same sketchy guy that guy was looking for hahaha

KoryKane 4

Saturday 17 July 2010 6:10

Haha nice picture

hawkeyefan26 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:02

ydi for leaving your door unlocked.. one of my friends got her laptop stolen while she was asleep in her room and she left her door unlocked and the key to her kensington lock on the hook by her door. anything can happen in the dorm.

SpamPam 18

Friday 19 April 2013 3:15

Umm how about instead of shaming the victim, we put down the perpetrators instead hmm?

Chelsey02 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:05

This has happened a lot in North Dakota Universities. I almost went to NDSU but my friends out there had so many horror stories about strangers sneaking into their rooms. So I decided Montana was best.. so far, no strangers in my room.

degco44 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 23:25

Where the heck did your friends live? That pretty much never happens at NDSU. I should know; I live in Fargo. We hear about everything that goes on around town, and there's never been anything like that.

C4R0L1N3 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:31

Psh, you don't know who Chris is? Everybody knows Chris.

ioceano 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 6:52

and everybody hates Chris!

nikkers 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:39

Eeeeh did he take the bottle with him?

LemonStarship 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 21:10

Is the fml he peed in the bottle instead of your face? Cause I'm guessing that's what you wanted :o

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 67 227

You deserved it 24 560

Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 481

Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 171

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 693

You deserved it 44 029

Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 190

Today, my relationship of over a decade ended very badly and suddenly. He asked for one last favor and I agreed… before realizing it meant I had to go to the church where we'd always planned to marry. Thanks for the final stake to the heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 185