Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see...

By KMO - 26/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 105

You deserved it 28 533

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By tina247 - 24/01/2011 15:50

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 854

You deserved it 5 122

By wabbyfish - 14/03/2014 03:36 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 509

You deserved it 8 181

Stuck in the past

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 408

By I_dislike_Twilight - 08/09/2011 12:52 - United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 398

You deserved it 4 707

By he's mine - 14/11/2012 07:46 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 1 874

By Rage - 08/10/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 920

You deserved it 4 505

By lil123 - 25/03/2012 04:40 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 908

You deserved it 2 728

By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 01/02/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 150

You deserved it 6 419

By ohmy. - 27/12/2010 17:52 - United States

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 481

You deserved it 7 165

Shelve your plans

By anon17 - 18/03/2010 13:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 672

You deserved it 3 289

chesoes 8

Sunday 26 February 2012 9:19

Hey those songs were actually pretty nice (:

x_KL_x 7

Sunday 26 February 2012 9:20

Sounds like he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed...

Comments

shannonchelsey 7

Tuesday 25 February 2014 1:42

Atleast he's trying...

fantasyworld 37

Friday 9 May 2014 15:36

Depends on the song.

ibenweav 3

Friday 9 May 2014 18:07

Shrek is love is life.

chynnasilva 6

Sunday 25 May 2014 7:16

Shrek is love Shrek is life

BasketGhost 17

Tuesday 2 September 2014 5:32

Well, Shrek IS love, after all. (Shrek is life)

MorganBall04 14

Saturday 14 March 2015 12:16

These lines of lightning mean we're never alone, never alone baby

pixierara 28

Monday 4 May 2015 0:14

Was it Hallelujah? Cause that song is actually pretty nice

Sherlihy 6

Monday 4 April 2016 1:45

HE WAS BRAINSTORMING!!! Don't hate, appreciate.

Savreth 12

Tuesday 26 April 2016 21:26

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

natesmokey12 8

Sunday 12 February 2017 21:03

She ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

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The Top

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 3 974

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 135

Today, my girlfriend sent a text asking if I think she’s pretty. I replied "Yes, of course!" She then got mad and blocked me. Turns out she'd said "petty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 503

You deserved it 799

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 076

You deserved it 2 010

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 4 201

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 902

Same thing different taste

Stuck in the past

Shelve your plans

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