Miscellaneous: Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that...

By anon - 10/11/2012 21:14 - United States - Kent

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 2 240

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By pizzagurl - 09/05/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 191

You deserved it 274 458

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 14:21 - Mexico

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 2 811

By cutiecuppiecakez - 29/02/2016 21:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 028

You deserved it 3 034

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 615

By has-evil-friends - 26/11/2009 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 708

You deserved it 3 622

Nice try, Karen

By munchkin77 - 15/12/2021 20:01

Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 80

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 849

You deserved it 772

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 258

You deserved it 36 936

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 22:34 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 3 089

By Cano951 - 16/12/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 387

You deserved it 2 608

fancymega 7

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:16

Maralize legajuana

AbstraktThoughts 13

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:16

Chill with him, eat his pizza? ;) he won't remember it.

Comments

svenskdod 2

Monday 12 November 2012 15:36

Was this in Colorado or Washington??

jeffandjeff 22

Tuesday 13 August 2013 21:50

Washington.

ElleYW 10

Tuesday 13 November 2012 5:28

The life of a pizza delivery guy....#TheStruggle

_ayeshann 0

Wednesday 14 November 2012 13:52

i dont understand why this is an FML. thats funny.

angel55033 12

Friday 16 November 2012 18:41

It could have been something more serious you should have called the paramedics...

spookykat 5

Friday 14 December 2012 18:57

O M G.....

night_fox88 24

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:57

I have yet to deliver to someone like that lol

TheKingOfHearts 19

Sunday 2 August 2015 10:24

SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY

legendof90 14

Tuesday 16 February 2016 0:44

When's it a good idea to call 911

Keywords

Love Break-ups Geek Technology Cute Cats Work Animals Facebook Grandparents Family Social Media Relatable Music Miscellaneous Food Scams Money Awkward Relationship advice Birthday School Photography Acting Health Parents Lonely Growing old Games Cheating

The Top

Today, I grabbed a coffee at the McDonald's drive-thru on my way home from work. As I drove away from the restaurant, a kid darted across the parking lot right in front of me. I had to slam hard on my brakes to avoid hitting him, in the process spilling my hot coffee all over my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 104

You deserved it 659

Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 71

The Top

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 17 398

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 4 449

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 474

You deserved it 21 471

Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 972

You deserved it 53 955

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 747

You deserved it 3 575

Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 320

You deserved it 2 229

Same thing different taste

Deep dish

Nice try, Karen

Top comments

Comments