Intimacy: Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle,...

By John jacob - 13/06/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 652

You deserved it 6 211

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Same thing different taste

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 532

Three is the magic number

By KTBeck - 26/05/2020 14:00

Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 725

You deserved it 362

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 16:00

Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 221

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 831

You deserved it 2 980

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 135

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 04:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 7 773

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 3 827

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 320

MtnDew32 0

Monday 13 June 2011 11:52

A tick on your dick? Ew, that's sick.

IceeCreamm 7

Monday 13 June 2011 11:49

wow maybe having a bigger penis is not that bad?

Comments

rexdog7 5

Monday 13 June 2011 16:16

yea instead of going to the hospital head over to your girlfriends house!

DReamBig24 0

Monday 13 June 2011 16:24

maybe you were doing something you shouldn't have that ended up with it getting there....

atcontroller22 0

Monday 13 June 2011 16:29

why does everyone assume the because his dick is 2X bigger that it's big? Maybe it's just slightly less small, and that would be a FML.

Brownstonius 0

Monday 13 June 2011 16:30

A tick on the tip of your dick? what a sick trick for the tick to pick YOUR dick! shit! If it were me I would have flipped if a tick were on my dick and I had to pick it from the tip of my dick then flick that shit quick! But, a big dick from where you were bit by a tiny tick is kinda the shit! How does one get a tick on his dick? unless of course you're a hick living in the sticks amongst the thicket and shit. that would explain getting bit on the tip of the dick and then being a whiny little tit about getting a bigger dick from a tiny little tick.