Health: Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get... - FML

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 520

You deserved it 2 358

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My body is ruining my life

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 22:00

Today, I have six exams next week, and as of this morning, I also have appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 70

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 124

You deserved it 1 976

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 889

You deserved it 6 482

Hang in there

By Trinity - 11/05/2023 06:00

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 82

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 2 670

By my face though - 25/01/2016 17:04 - United States - Kettle Falls

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 828

You deserved it 2 456

The View

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 7 925

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 830

You deserved it 3 272

Next

Top comments

blackheart24 10

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:16

I trust the doctor.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:12

No, that's an abscess (pus-filled horror show). A cyst is a sac with a lining filled with fluid or debris, depending on the type of cyst.

Comments

42billybob 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 15:42

Lean forward on your chair. Put the weight on your legs as opposed to your ass.

RyanDallasParker 1

Tuesday 25 October 2011 18:03

Even if you got it taken out, the stitches and cuts from the procedure would hurt more. I just got one taken out

aha5035 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 20:07

been there before good luck to you

creampie18 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:09

Actually it's caused by an ingrown hair

spenceorama354 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 8:04

Ouch, that sucks. But after the surgery, wouldn't it still hurt to sit down for a while?

Black_Rose6 10

Wednesday 26 October 2011 20:37

Its called a Polinidal Cyst. Last year I ended up getting the same thing. It most definitely sucked because I was in college, and worked part time. Except mine got infected so bad that hey had to lance it before I could go into surgery. So I got to wait a lovely 2months to get mine removed.. Woohoo... Hope you feel better though. Use a butt cushion, it helps!

pandea 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 1:32

My friend has one and can't get it removed till next month

hellokitty46 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 3:05

at least it's not on your ass

Amanda127 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 6:03

My husband has a pilonidal cyst and is getting it excised in 2 weeks. Poor guy! If it is bleeding or pussing, I suggest using a pantyliner wherever on your bum it is located.

NDiesal10 2

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:16

Oh damn. Been there before...twice within a few years. It sucks.

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 10 418

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 511

You deserved it 3 154

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 2 962

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 362

You deserved it 25 976

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 494

You deserved it 54 243

Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 4 729

Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 624

You deserved it 44 508