Health: Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or genital warts....

By Curt - 06/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 887

You deserved it 9 406

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By quiet_screaming_ - 01/07/2015 02:21 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 098

You deserved it 8 821

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 369

You deserved it 5 754

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 2 848

Clean up

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Cary

Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 774

By ringrash - 14/01/2016 06:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 030

You deserved it 4 364

By NoSacredSpace - 19/05/2018 05:00

Today, I can finally say there’s no part of my body that hasn’t had a pimple show up. I found a zit on my clit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 523

By baconrash - 22/02/2010 21:43 - United States

Today, I found out that the acne under my arms was worse then the severe acne on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 3 687

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 11:44 - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 770

You deserved it 40 326

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 15:21 - United States - Dunkirk

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 700

You deserved it 944

Good

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said, "Good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 438

You deserved it 38 252

Sketch_y 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 22:58

Stop jerking it / sweaty hands touching yourself.

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 23:04

Guess mom wasn't kidding when she said you can get zits anywhere.

Comments

rfn2 7

Thursday 17 April 2014 15:12

Do you even wash bro?

sea_cucumber_11 11

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:33

At least it isn't an std

taylorpric3 9

Sunday 17 August 2014 19:44

I have they too on my nuts. or ingrown hair.

Lelliott 7

Monday 25 August 2014 15:05

I'd take that as a win, you can treat acne easier.

Azellia 15

Thursday 25 September 2014 22:26

Better than the STDs though

EVADIVA118 8

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:55

How is that even possible?

Solano2580 24

Monday 2 February 2015 14:57

I had a similar problem, 3 different times I had a single zit on my dick, all in the same place

pixierara 28

Tuesday 5 May 2015 23:03

Umm, I'm pretty sure acne is better than herpes/genital warts

Ypfak 0

Saturday 25 July 2015 20:23

One of those in between one s

Rammer3500 23

Tuesday 19 January 2016 17:13

Better than the others though...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 3 090

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 54

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 854

You deserved it 2 461

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 345

Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 210

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 4 302

Same thing different taste

Clean up

Good

Top comments

Comments