Kids: Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered...

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 723

You deserved it 4 389

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 950

You deserved it 1 816

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 774

You deserved it 13 804

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 451

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 258

You deserved it 8 276

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 6 092

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 363

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 125

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 451

You deserved it 2 988

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:01

well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 March 2011 19:42

That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.

Comments

undumblonde 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:54

So am I :) I'm called elf, lil gibblet, tink, lil lady, shorty mcmuffin pants, and lil baby feet XD

smalltownboy54 0

Monday 31 October 2011 4:22

I'm 6"1 and I'm 13

okieraider71 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 15:35

The perfect woman: 4'10" tall, a full a-cup bra size (or a small b-cup), small waist size snd a deep love for bondage.

xXMiniXx 0

Saturday 4 February 2012 4:32

You represent the lolipop guild!!! Lol dwai my mom is considered one too and I'm not much taller =P

3rdbass 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:55

This is all Eric Cartman's fault.

Oliver_Canterbry 10

Tuesday 1 April 2014 4:23

Ah, I stopped growing at 4.10". Legal midget hight is anything below 4.11" (or so I've heard) and I'm only getting shorter. But, being short is pretty fun sometimes. XD

WildJubeJube 16

Wednesday 4 June 2014 19:44

That kinda would've been an honour to me if ya think bout it.

zovjraar 6

Wednesday 19 July 2017 18:31

I'm 4'11, which would be legally a dwarf if I was a guy. I feel ya, OP!

wrenavery90 12

Tuesday 31 May 2022 6:20

So you didn't discover you were a midget until just now? How is that even possible.

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Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 403

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 773

The Top

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 902

You deserved it 327

Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 197

Today, more of my friends celebrated Rush Limbaugh's death than celebrated when I won a national award two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 395

Today, I was writing an essay while sleep-deprived. In between actually writing, I started typing my thoughts. It was only after I’d submitted the essay that I realized that I hadn’t deleted the random words. My teacher can see my early-morning rambling about potatoes. I have no way to delete it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 1 592

Today, according to my doctors, the car crash I was in has damaged the part of my brain responsible for balance and coordination, which is why no matter if I'm standing, sitting, or lying down, I feel dizzy as fuck. Unless by some miracle my brain can fix itself, this might be a lifelong condition. I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 68

Today, my boyfriend is so scared of COVID that he takes precautions beyond what health professionals recommend to satisfy his OCD. He told me he wouldn't be getting the vaccine because he "won't be controlled by the government." Not to worry, he will just continue to be the unbearable control freak he transformed into since this all began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 206

Same thing different taste

Short King

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