Kids: Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered...

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 723

You deserved it 4 389

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 178

You deserved it 10 071

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 950

You deserved it 1 816

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 774

You deserved it 13 804

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 451

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 258

You deserved it 8 276

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 6 092

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 363

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 125

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 451

You deserved it 2 988

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:01

well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 March 2011 19:42

That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.

Comments

CommonSenseKarma 17

Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:14

I'm 17. In case any of you really cared. What were we talking about again?

thevirusuhope4 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:00

you know your short whennnn...

deeeders 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:15

You can get money from the government if you are legally a 'midget'!

kat376 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:27

you can get money from the gov't then. so congrats.

Jessephine 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:38

truth hurtz..

kcnutt10 1

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:40

Sorry about my previous comment. I accidentally hit 'send'. But 62: We know you're 13! You've already mentioned it under 6's comment! Why do you repeat yourself so much? this is the second FML, that I've seen, that you've said the same thing twice.

1234USMC 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 9:55

man that's dope I lov short girls I wanna marry all of em

sk3l370n 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 11:14

ever mugged any1?

MRSladyFACE 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 22:34

My comments are all over the place here. I was replying to someone earlier in the thread and it messed it all up.

MRSladyFACE 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 22:34

And a name on here is nothing to take as a fact. I could make my name QueenofFrance if I wanted.

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The Top

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 653

You deserved it 8 783

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 837

You deserved it 6 059

The Top

Today, one of my friends came over to go swimming in my pool. Before going back into the house, as it's all carpeted, I automatically took off my trunks, forgetting about my friend. I realized my mistake when my friend commented on my abnormally long foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 1 514

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later, I was feeling horny, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 198

You deserved it 69 203

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 275

You deserved it 7 759

Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 782

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 6 693

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 54 746

Same thing different taste

Short King

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