By Kimberpoo - 14/03/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 884
You deserved it 5 681

Same thing different taste

Top comments

oj101 33

How on earth did such a food get approved by regulatory bodies?! And why would you consume these if you well knew what might happen?

Comments

perdix 29

Hey, next time you wrestle your boyfriend, you can give him a Cleveland Steamer, you power porker.

This reminds me of those "WOW" chips that were once on the market. Warning: May cause anal leakage! Ummm yeah, no thanks!

Epikouros 31

But you could save on lube for anal sex. (Health warning: oily anal leakage may damage latex condoms.)

OP those skid marks and shart bubbles are a small price to pay for scarfing down pounds of jelly beans! Shart proudly!!

I bet they were "sugar free" which make all sorts of bad things happen...like your, ahim, issue.

Oops...the FML said they were sugar free jelly beans. Should have made a cash bet instead. I'd have better luck then I am commenting on this FML.

Llama_Face89 33

That's aspartame for ya. Also causes migraines, seizures and cancer.

Those 'sugar-free' things are nasty. I read a study somewhere that said diet soda and sugar-free foods actually make you gain weight. My theory is, if you're going to have a treat, have a real one, just don't make a habit of it. I eat really healthy, homemade food most of the time. The only soda I drink normally is an occasional sip of ginger ale when my stomach is upset, otherwise water or milk. But if I were going somewhere fun and wanted a root beer float or something? Then I'd have it and enjoy it! My mother is diabetic and eats/drinks all kinds of things with aspartame/sucralose/sorbitol/whatever in it. Even her morning coffee, she dumps a bunch of Splenda into it. I'd just skip the sugar and make a flavoured coffee by adding some spices and milk if I really wanted to. She's always sick to her stomach, and I'm pretty sure that's why. And on top of that she STILL eats sugary foods all the time - cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate bars - she has type 2 diabetes and seems to occasionally think the pills 'cure' her.

She just sounds like a bad diabetic... Also, milk and juice are awful for diabetics. So we drink diet things. I'm pretty positive there are other things attacking her body, not Splenda.

50- um.. Where the **** are you getting your info from? Please tell me how juice and milk are awful for diabetics? I've been drinking juice and milk my whole life, and i seem to be gettin on just fine. and chocolate milk is great for low blood sugar, so...

Reminds me of the time I mixed 3 flavours of mountain Dew...

Oh my god I am ******* rolling!!! FYL!!

Chances are it wasn't aspartame, it was sugar alcohols. These are used frequently in sugar free candies and make them taste much like the sugared ones, unlike the nasty aftertaste of aspartame. These things are not meant to be eaten in large quantities. If you eat 1 serving, you should be fine. Eat the whole bag? Yeah, puts a whole new meaning to "anal leakage". Everything in moderation my dear.