Poopoo peepee and Health: Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning...

By Kimberpoo - 14/03/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 884

You deserved it 5 681

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Same thing different taste

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

Gassy day

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 394

The diet plan from hell

By Mustanggt - 01/11/2020 14:01 - United States - Rochester

Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 239

You deserved it 28 475

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 711

Gummied up

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 109

By NotSoSick - 12/02/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 3 870

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 18 120

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 482

Addiction

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 01:58

Today, I thought I’d do something for my digestion and forego the after-lunch coffee, as it always makes me gassy. Well, without the coffee apparently all the gas just stayed inside. Whatever it did in there gave me a pretty awful stomach ache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 147

cliffibom 15

Thursday 14 March 2013 12:39

Did you spill your beans?

oj101 33

Thursday 14 March 2013 12:36

How on earth did such a food get approved by regulatory bodies?! And why would you consume these if you well knew what might happen?

Comments

sab1 8

Friday 15 March 2013 0:16

good old xylitol

wvcheesehead1 9

Friday 15 March 2013 2:00

Sounds like an ideal snack to put out for the freeloaders at my desk. You walk over but you run back.

J_C_maldonado 9

Friday 15 March 2013 4:28

That just plain sucks.

mwek3 11

Friday 15 March 2013 9:34

more like "warning: make cause sharding".

reaxion 25

Saturday 16 March 2013 4:37

Ah, so William Shartner paid a visit! That sucks so bad. Sorry OP.

goddessmiamia 4

Sunday 17 March 2013 18:05

Eat jellybeans = farting in Technicolor

unlifeoftheparty 10

Tuesday 19 March 2013 4:31

what'd you do, eat them all at once? ydi

militarybrat 21

Sunday 18 August 2013 4:51

What the **** kind of jelly beans were you eating?! FYL!

marvelousmarv_fml 1

Wednesday 4 June 2014 14:23

I ate some sugar free ice cream.. I was on the shitter all night.

shaunr40k 20

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:08

i literally fell out of my chair laughing so hard. **** your life

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Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 211

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 881

The Top

Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 870

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 444

You deserved it 4 325

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 643

You deserved it 6 958

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 525

You deserved it 3 494

Today, I encouraged my husband to form a band with some of his other middle-aged friends, I just had no idea they would name their band The Wet Farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 376

Today, my girlfriend was sick for the fourth day in a row. I stopped by her house to check on her and bring some necessities, only to find her ex's truck in the driveway, and the sounds of some very intense love making coming from inside. I guess she's not that sick after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 889

You deserved it 554