Kids: Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while...

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:33 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 4 461

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Same thing different taste

By CA19oo - 27/05/2012 13:13 - United States - Grovetown

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 872

You deserved it 4 890

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 554

You deserved it 2 600

By BabyButt - 09/04/2014 17:50 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 625

You deserved it 41 589

By kacie smith - 16/09/2012 12:36 - United States - Youngsville

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 3 735

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 802

You deserved it 11 748

Don't worry!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 947

You deserved it 542

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 6 689

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 14:01 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 1 349

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 697

You deserved it 2 097

By We raised that fool - 06/08/2014 13:21 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 342

You deserved it 4 034

rgri 11

Monday 28 October 2013 2:28

I guess she can't use you as a reference.

TwistedCherub1 15

Monday 28 October 2013 2:32

What people are into is their business and shouldn't disqualify them from any job UNTIL they involve your kid. Fire her and tell everyone you know.

Comments

infernno 23

Monday 28 October 2013 4:09

At least she's getting an early start!

QueenQuay77 10

Wednesday 30 October 2013 5:36

you obviously don't have kids to say something like this.

edanielleh 21

Monday 28 October 2013 4:19

it really could be a yoga swing, i would ask the sitter though

Sweetpea22 14

Monday 28 October 2013 4:22

I hope there is a follow-up. I want to know how OP knew it was a sex swing and not a yoga swing.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 28 October 2013 4:34

I think she is a little young to even know that exists..and now unfortunately she does...

Kukua 5

Monday 28 October 2013 8:11

No she doesn't. She thought it was just a swing. She has absolutely no idea what's its for. Making her get off it would have made her more curious about it, and THEN she would have known such a thing existed as a swing for adults only. But now she just thinks its a weird looking swing.

domolovesyoshi 33

Monday 28 October 2013 4:37

I had to look that up, it could have been.

franklydizzy 5

Monday 28 October 2013 5:19

how does being indoors prove it's a sex swing. and even if it was you know its sturdy and there is no way your kid could have fallen off and hurt herself. :D

ChakatBlackstar 29

Monday 28 October 2013 5:30

First of all, are we sure it was a sex swing? Secondly, while inappropriate, it could have been perfectly innocent. And most people have the sense to clean all their toys after use so it's doubtful she came into contact with anything bad.