Health: Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's...

By The horror... - 11/11/2015 16:52 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 376

You deserved it 3 173

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 006

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 7 568

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 347

You deserved it 12 941

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 310

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 390

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 253

You deserved it 19 307

By Gassy and sassy - 07/12/2014 06:15 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 6 777

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

whatarethisss 23

Thursday 12 November 2015 8:13

Sometimes I wake myself up by snoring and look around to see who was snoring and then realize it was me.

WinterChild 20

Thursday 12 November 2015 8:12

Hopefully they have a good sense of humour. If they don't, your boyfriend should have said it was him to save you some embarrassment.

Comments

doxer 13

Thursday 12 November 2015 21:44

Epic. ^ only word needed.

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 13 November 2015 11:50

Hope you weren't driving...

mr_dour 16

Tuesday 17 November 2015 10:41

That's quite a talent you have.

Mpadam12 5

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:16

Oh that stinks.

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 403

You deserved it 5 767

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 075

You deserved it 46 552

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 749

You deserved it 279

Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 660

Today, I put my phone in the fridge to cool it down. Now it's cold, but it won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 327

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 692

You deserved it 16 035

Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

Rude awakening

Top comments

Comments