Animals: Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone...

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

By ihateseagulls - 07/04/2011 23:28 - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 665

You deserved it 4 124

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 555

You deserved it 7 958

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By joe1234 - 17/07/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 9 730

By beachbirdbait - 09/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 584

You deserved it 506

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

By FeedTheBirds - 06/09/2017 22:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 501

Invaded

By somanybirds - 25/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 809

You deserved it 331

By shithead - 18/09/2011 20:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 785

You deserved it 51 165

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 15 October 2013 9:11

They pecked your pecker?

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:27

That's sexual harassment. Sue the birds.

Comments

emirie 21

Tuesday 15 October 2013 9:25

Time for some good beach revenge pranks >:)

Ksweety_fml 27

Tuesday 15 October 2013 9:27

Ouch...

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 15 October 2013 9:40

5, even A Flock of Seagulls? Would you run (so far away)?

ihpp 22

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:16

time for some new friends.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:27

That's sexual harassment. Sue the birds.

Ziggyboo 10

Tuesday 15 October 2013 23:45

*What most "sue them" comments sound like in FML.

AuricBeast 8

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:35

Son of a beach

Grauncho 27

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:56

You spelled "I'm terrible at puns" wrong.

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Tuesday 15 October 2013 12:40

^There's no need to get all sharky.

JMichael 25

Tuesday 15 October 2013 13:28

Yea why not try to have a shell of a good time?

Zaros_fml 24

Tuesday 15 October 2013 18:57

You guys need to sea that this is a real current event. Don't be angry beachause you don't like puns

Beepbeep7 14

Tuesday 15 October 2013 10:37

No more pulling out method for you.

azisles02 17

Tuesday 15 October 2013 11:07

Your friends let you off easy. I would've done one of my favorite movie pranks, write "DORK" on your chest in sunblock & let the rest of you upper body burn.